Sorry that this took a little bit longer than expected. With speed dating and real life, it all got a little crazy there. Anyway, I'm here to review these chapters for you today.
Usually, I sort of take notes for each review while I read, but I was so engrossed in the story that I didn't notice I hadn't written anything down until I'd finished the chapter. And this is probably my third or so reading of this chapter alone. I think that's evidence enough that your mystery is working. I don't really like trying to work out who the murderer is in stories because I think sometimes you can ruin it for yourself, but I don't even know who is innocent in this situation. Okay, so I can't imagine it being Narcissa, but who knows?
I love how you write Regulus. I think the fact that he is so disturbed by his aunt's body really suits him. I know he's close to the age of becoming a Death Eater here but I can't imagine him ever really being 'fine' with death. I think what you've written here supports that, and while others may think differently, I think that he's perfect here- after all, he is only a child. I still love the presence of Walburga and Orion, I especially like how they do care about Regulus in their own way. People often write them as being completely cold to everything, so it's nice to see them like this.
As for the pacing, I think this chapter and the story up to this point is fine. The story is only really starting at this point and going to quick would destroy the mystery of it all as would going to slow. I think at this point, the story still has a unsure tone to it- none of the characters really know what's going on, so the pace suits it perfectly.
I'll see you in the next review!
Author's Response: Hey - and no worries! I totally understand - speed dating was amazing! So many brilliant entries! :)
Ooh, cool - that's a good thing, right? :P Thank you so so much! I'm so glad you're confused (if that's not mean to say, haha) since it really helps. I'm honestly so terrible at knowing what people will get and what they won't put together, you know, so it really helps for you to say something like that!
Regulus is a child - I think that's a pretty significant thing when I write him here. He's fourteen/fifteen here, so he's close but he's still so young and naive and yeah, I can't imagine him ever just being fine with death either. Gah, yeah, I remember Sirius said in the books, or implied at least, that Regulus was Walburga's favourite, so I kinda played off of that in their relationship, and Orion does care, really, about both of his sons, he just really has no idea how to show emotion at all :P I'm glad you like them, though - they're strange but fascinating characters to write! :)
Thank you so much! I'm always so nervous about pacing because I know I'm just really slow, haha, and it's something I'm trying to improve on so it's so great to hear that I might be starting to succeed with that! :)
Thank you so so much for this! I always love receiving your reviews - they're such gems each time! Thank you! :)