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Review:nott theodore says:
Hi!

Wow, what a powerful way to start your story! There's no doubt that you'll catch a reader's attention with an opening line like that, and it was so creepy and so in line with Bellatrix's character. It's a really different way to get us thinking about matters of the heart!

I haven't read a lot of Lucius and Narcissa as the main pairing in a story but I really like the way that you've written them here: I think that focusing on events from Narcissa's point of view makes them seem a lot more human. Narcissa is always so reserved in the books and obviously we immediately associate her with the Death Eaters, but here I really warmed to her as a character.

I loved the progression in their relationship, from the point that Lucius first asked her out on a date to their marriage, their son, and finally their lives being torn apart by war. The sections were only short but really effective, and I loved reading them as they progressed. Each one seemed to add a lot to the overall story, and helped the development in your characterisation a lot as well.

I felt really sorry for Narcissa here, and the position that she was put in by Lucius: she loved him and accepted his decision, but his hopes for power and glory spiralled far out of their control and Narcissa and Draco were the main victims of that, I think. I loved the fact that at the end they were searching for Draco and found him, and that you showed that love for family is just as, if not more, important than romantic love - at least, as far as children are concerned.

One of my favourite things was the use of the heart in this piece, from the very beginning with Bellatrix's disturbing information, to the beating hearts and then the way it ended with Narcissa finally being calm. I love circularity in pieces like this as well, and I think you did a great job here. I'm off to read Taylor's story now!

Sian :)

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