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Review:Unwritten Curse says:
Aww, this is such a sweet one-shot. I do not approve of you calling this "not a very good one-shot." Not at all. :P

I'm really intrigued by the idea that Teddy would go for Dominique after being involved with Victoire. It's so interesting that I wish you had explored it even more! Does Teddy feel guilty about it? How are Teddy and Victoire now? Does this get in the way of Dominique's feelings for Teddy (the fact that her sister used to date him)? I'm curious to know!

I enjoyed the little details that you threw in--like Dom reading a Muggle novel and how she felt off-kilter after the portkey. I love little details like that. They ground the whole piece for me in reality.

I also found it interesting that the narration, despite being in third person, wove in and out of both Teddy and Dom's inner thoughts and reactions. I think you moved at the right moments--when Teddy is thinking about how he never imagined going after Victoire's sister, when Dom sees the 'secret location' for the first time, when Teddy is nervous to tell her how he feels. I thought it was done well, but the kissing bit at the end was confusing because we move from Dom's perceptions (that she was shocked into stillness, that joy erupted in her heart, that it was a dream come true) to Teddy's perceptions (that he felt guilty, that he noticed she had moved onto his lap) very quickly, and there's a back and forth sort of seeing that is slightly confusing.

I hope that made sense...

Anyway, let me repeat: By no means is this a bad one-shot. I enjoyed its sweetness. I like it when characters show vulnerability, because that's real. It's authentic. And the adorableness of this story is seriously squee worthy. :D

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey Gina! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing =)

I am glad you found this sweet.

Well, I do have a backstory for how Teddy feels about "going for Dominique after Victoire" but it was too much to put into this little one-shot. I have to say though, Teddy doesn't feel very guilty about it, because he never had a serious relationship with Victoire - it was just one of those high school flings that never last =) As for Dominique though, he really fell in love with her after.

I am pleased you liked the little details, I always enjoy writing those and it makes me happy that they get noticed.

This is the first time I tried third person that looks into both the characters POV simultaneously and I was a bit apprehensive about. I am relieved you found it interesting and felt it moved at the right moments. As for the kissing bit at the end, I'll try to smooth it out when I get the time to edit =)

It did make sense and I am pleased overall you liked it and found it squee worthy. Yay xD Thanks!




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