*grins at James and Sirius proving Remus wrong*
"meet at quarter til, Potter" Maybe it's just where I'm from, but I always say quarter TO the hour.
"deformed candy cane vomiting a rotten banana peel" UTTER BRILLIANCE.
"particularly flamboyant unicorn's happy place." You're just bursting with funny comments, aren't you? I was wondering why he thought Madame Puddifoot's would ever be a good idea. Now I know it's those romantics at Hogwarts. Very pastel indeed.
Aw man, a missing wallet! How annoying. I hope he pays her back, seeing as it's her PRESENT.
Which he BROKE.
And yet she still kissed him. I thought she would run off in a huff or something because everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, but I guess James needed a break.
This is such a sweet and funny story.There's nothing wrong typo/formatting/grammar wise that I can see other than the thing I already mentioned, and your characterisation is really good, especially James. I love how he's trying not to run his hand through his hair because Lily doesn't like her. This is really good. Good luck with the competition!
Author's Response: Hello, hello! What a wonderful review to wake up to! Thank you so much! And I'm just so thrilled and epically relieved that you enjoyed this story (I may or may not have written the entire thing in three days and on five hours of sleep, and sleep-deprived Tanya is... still a little sleep-deprived; I'm rambling! :-p)!
LOL Ever the trial-and-error type, those two are. Can never just take anybody's word for anything if there's a chance to cause some mischief! hehehe Glad it amused you! :-D
That's so funny! Everyone I tend to hear it from says quarter til, but after looking up some options, your version is way, way more common! I suppose mine must be a regional thing, huh? There were some other options as well (quarter of, quarter before), but quarter to is the biggie, so I'm going to take your advice and edit it! Thanks so much for pointing it out!
LOL Glad both of those lines stood out to you and made you laugh! I don't really consider myself to be a comedic writer, so it always feels like a risk trying my hand at humor; what a huge relief to know I didn't completely flop this time around! hehehe And yup, Madam Puddifoot's. Poor, poor misinformed James Potter. I sure did torture him a bit here, didn't I? Surely someday he'll learn to forgive me, though, right? :-p
HA I know, I know, right!? He tries so hard, but the universe is totally conspiring against him, it seems. Or maybe it's this Murphy guy with a vengeance... Or, you know, me as the author... but that's neither here nor there. ;) Breaking the snow globe... I felt really bad. Had to be done, though. Muahaha!
Ah yes, they did kiss, didn't they? I think that must be enough to win be back at least a few points from him, no? haha He did need a break. I've always been of the impression that once Lily Evans finally even so much as agreed to a date, reluctantly or not, her heart and mind were already made up and James had already won, whether he knew it or not. Clearly here he did not. Poor thing... [insert more evil laughter here]
I'm honestly just so wholly happy that you enjoyed the fic so much and found it both sweet and funny, as that's exactly what I was going for. And thank goodness that even sleep-deprived me has a basic understanding of the English language (and, you know, an awesome partner in crime who generously hunted down a few typo's before the story went up). I'm thrilled that you found the characterizations to be on, as it's my first attempt at these two and I know how well-loved of a couple they are; I certainly did not want to botch them! The hand twitch thing was fun to play with for me, too. hehehe
Anyway, thank you so very, very much for having taken the time to write out such a brilliant review! It is truly and endlessly appreciated! (And thank you for the luck!)