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Review:LovlyRita says:
I know I said that I was going to leave a review every 5 but look at me, here i am at every 10. Mostly because I'm lazy but shut up.

Ok so this story has progressed so much since the last time I reviewed. And there are so many things that I want to comment on but I can't remember all of them and that's sad.

Well, point one: your writing has improved ten fold over the first chapter. The fluency of it, your word choice, you've really hit the groove as far as writing in first person in comedy and that's so so hard to do. It reads like some of my favorite books with a first person narrator. And I always admire someone who can walk this line because it can so easily veer off into the ridiculous territory, and quickly, but yours NEVER does. It's on point, it's funny, heart warming, and just perfect.

Ok so I just wanted to say that your story definitely has evoked the...oh my god please don't do that, I can't bear to see you embarassed..empathetic reaction. Every time she was around Teddy that's the way i felt. Oh no no no gurl, don't do that, you have to move on. Haha it was kind of ridiculous for me. That whole scene when they were making the cake a few chapters ago I was just poor thing.

Ok so this whole thing with Scorpius and the shrine...and him living in the shrieking shack, I think I told you that I had something so similar in one of my stories! It was in the shrieking shack and it was a shrine to Rose, but it wasn't Scorpius who made it. But still, it made me laugh because I think we might be mind twins or something. But if we're mind twins I think you're the stronger twin, and I'm just the pathetic under achieving twin that stands under the shadow of the better twin, but like we're still twins so we're gorgeous. anyway.

One thing I love is how well developed all these characters are. you really get a good sense of all of them, of course especially Rose, but I must admit that even this far into the story I feel like there is so much we don't know. Especially about Scorpius and what happened to his family, and why he's such a creeper! Because he is most definitely a creeper and I can't wait to find out more about that. Yo've done such a good job of building intrigue!

One of the other things I generally love about it is the way that you start each chapter. They never start specifically following the events of the chapter before it and I actually really like it. It would save my butt a LOT if I could learn to write like that. But all my stories tend to end one chapter and then go right into the next. I think yours is a lot cleaner, and it also gives the characters kind of...time to reflect on whatever it was that happened at the end of the last chapter, so you don't always get 100% of whatever their immediate reaction was, and I like that a lot.

I don't like Boris and I'm still confused as to whether or not Rose actually got a promotion or not...and I think she's a little confused too.

Another thing that I love is what a tight knit group of friends she seems to have. like when she had a hard day, she went to the pub early to have a drink and wait and, even though that scene ended in disaster for her, it's great because she seems to have a really solid support system, and I'm not even going to be a little bit shy about telling you how unbelievably jealous I am of it. I'm sitting here reading about your characters and their interactions thinking, God I wish I had that in my life. Maybe that's what normal people think about romance and such but for me, nope .It's her friendships. I want a Molly in my life. Will you be my Molly? :P

Ummm let's see what else, what else, OH, the fact that biscuits are mentioned in every single chapter. That's fun and a nice theme, especially since I love biscuits and now I want some, so you know, thanks a lot for THAT unneeded development in my life...

OH I know. the developments with her family, the fact that Hermione bought the Daily Prophet, I absolutely loved that!! It would be something that she would do, especially if she thought her family was threatened in some way by the newspaper, what an interesting way to keep them all out of the news. Because you know, you just know that there are some kind of weird Wizard papparazzi that would follow them around. And like, Rose was born in 2006 right? So we're looking at like...ok so she's 18 in the year 2014 which we're in now, and you know the paps have been crazy for the last 5 years or so, so like...Hermione'd be like Victoria Beckham with her kids, minus the like super sour look on her face all the time, and everyone would want a view of those kids. And Harry's too. Anyway, sorry got off track there, long story short is that I thought that was a really cool idea, and I don't think I'd want to make Hermione mad either. OH and the whole thing with her drinking so much that she was unable to make a cake at the going away thing. Very interesting. Seriously I have the absolute softest spot in my heart for middle aged Hermione and Ron. It is absolutely my most favorite thing ever. And you've done it so well here.

And old Molly!! Another soft spot for me. And Hugo, with his hung over self a few chapters ago. I love Hugo, he's one of my favorite to write when I do, and I do enjoy your Hugo a lot.

But more than anything else, I am just really super looking forward to seeing how this relationship between Rose and Scorpius is going to progress...or regress...or what have you. Because he's so delightfully awkward and I just think he's so well written, and you never betray his characterization at all, no matter what happens he is just weird, creepy, stalkery scorpius and I can't wait to see how this character, and the character of Rose, develops.

Well, this is officially my longest review ever. Maybe leaving 10 chapters in between reviews is too much. Only 140 character remaining now, CAN I USE THEM ALL :P


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