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Review:shez says:
Hey there! Saw your forum message and thought it would be good time to catch on my reading PUTP. And give the chappie some love :) (I also hate it when you put so much effort in writing something and people are too lazy to review).

Anyway there's so many awesome things occurring in this and the previous several chapters I'm not sure where my sleep-deprived self should start.

So I'm really loving all the developments thus far. This fic is definitely enjoyed more when read in a binge as opposed to, say, three chapters at a time. Astoria and Draco drifting apart, Draco and Ana drifting closer, Ron and Harry and Draco being...well, themselves I guess, and ANDERS (can I just say that I love him? Though I never liked Anders in DA2. But your Anders reminds me more of Varric haha. Love his relationship with Draco and the 'Nancy' comments.

ANDERS. I love the Ana-Anders sibling relationship--They have a bit of a sibling rivalry but still care very deeply for each other. Wow this chapter was action-y! Ana's transformation at the sound of Draco in danger is very scary and visceral (budding feelings there, right? right?). I'd probably make a comment on plot here but I'm sleepy and don't quite know where it's going to go (which is good thing! Keeps my interest) so I guess I'll just keeping reading. After I finish my hw haha.

I have to say the quality of your writing has definitely changed from the earlier chapters. The dialogue/banter reads really well. Description, setting, tone--it's all pretty consistent (and makes me so reminiscent of Dragon Age I want to go replay the games. again. WHY?)

I'll come back for the last two chapters at some point with better reviews. (Sorry for the lameness of this review. I'm too sleepy to be alive).

Anyway, keep writing! Don't give up on this story or Templars will hunt you down! :)


Author's Response: Oh gawsh, now I feel like a complete whiner, which I particularly am when I'm sick. Ugh, flu season :(

YOU PLAY DRAGON AGE? I'M BLOWN AWAY RIGHT NOW. And go replay them girl, that's what I'm in the middle of doing right now haha. Did we talk about this before? Surely I would have remembered. BONDING MOMENT.

I'm glad that you noticed my evolving writing style. I've been trying really hard to suck up all the criticisms and really change for the better. You noticed, and I completely adore your writing, so I'm actually kind of blushing right now haha. I'm editing my earlier chapters as well to read much more like these current ones. Merlin knows they need editing haha

Oh, that reminds me, if you wanna tear my chapter apart, go ahead. I'm so in need of CC. Like you said, my writing style has changed, but it's not where I want it to be yet. Any suggestions are welcome :)

Isn't Anders so sassy?! I definitely pulled more from Anders in the DA:O DLC than in DA2.

I'm so scared to write DAFF! I've read some of a friend's and it completely blows me away what she does with it, so now I'm like, I think I'll wait till my writing gets better haha.

There are so many budding feelings you have no idea hahaha. I can't wait for you to read more!

Thank you so much for providing me with some sort of validation on my writing! And thank you for taking the time to review!


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