Hello again! I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to come back to this story, but never fear! I haven't forgotten you, and now I'm here to give you another review on your creepy story. :)
Okay, so it's kind of weird, but Rabbit Heart has stayed stuck in my mind for a really long time. In fact, I was derping around on a social media site the other day and I found a .gif of rabbits hopping all around. So I reblogged it, thinking of this story, hahaha. Does that make me weird?
This review might be a little different, since I'm sneakily using one of the school computers. Sh! I have to pretend like I'm writing a paper because I'm afraid that they'll kick me out! But this is the only time that I could steal away to review you, so here we go! :)
Wow, James is sort of a jerk. Why does he find it funny to jinx Albus? I mean, just because he can use magic outside of school now... Are the brothers on good terms, or do they have the sort of sibling rivalry where one is the antagonist (James) and the other always has to be one step ahead (Albus)? Major props to Al, though, for being resourceful enough to use charms to resist the curses. I've never really heard of a spell being ineffective when up against amulets and things, at least, not in the Potterverse, but it makes sense for the minor jinxes and hexes and et cetera.
Uh oh, so the Wrenbus is experiencing some technical difficulties. They both obviously like each other, but then Wren is acting weird and Al thinks that it's his fault... What a mess. I like that you've added more details about their friendship here, that Wren is the one who talks Al through difficult situations and that Al is the one who makes Wren laugh. It helps me envision the pair a lot more clearly.
"Albus looked like a statue on the dais, reminding Wren suddenly of the stillness in the Hospital Ward, her grandparents in their beds, unmoving, unblinking. Wren had confided in Albus once about her irrational fear that they'd rise up out of their beds like zombies. It had creeped her out so much that she had to tell someone."~I love this paragraph. It's so creep-tastic, just like the rest of the story. The connection to Wren's grandparents is great. It seems apparent that while Neville saw his mom and dad, people that he would never truly get to know, Wren saw living corpses, nightmares in the flesh. There's quite a gap between the perspectives of father and daughter, and that's to be expected. I remember visiting my great-grandma before she died... My dad saw the woman who went fishing with him and told the best jokes, but all I saw was a fragile, gasping thing. Sad, but true. I totally know Wren's feels about the zombification thing.
Aw, such flutters! Much confusion! Very tall Al! So Wren's crush! Hahaha, just kidding. I love how Wren's thoughts about Al are juxtaposed with her confusion about her strange visions and all of the creepy stuff that's been happening to her. AND you still manage to move the action along! How do you do that?! You're amazing at it-putting in a character's thoughts and feelings without having to bring the action to an abrupt halt.
Haha, blue ice cream. That sounds frightening! I'm enjoying seeing both Al and Wren's perspectives in this chapter. Earlier, Wren mentioned something about Al having girlfriends, and now Al is elaborating on that, including some details that weren't there before. It's like they're mind twins (except not, because they're actually Wrenbus)! And then Al "tests the waters"... Yep, it seems that the Wrenbus is going to have to stop for repairs.
Ahah! More on Al and James' relationship! James is definitely a scheming little deviant, but Al and Scorpius are going to lay down the law! It does seem that they have a predator-prey relationship right now, but once Al is able to use magic, James had better watch out!
Pacing is brilliant for this story. I love reading it because there are so many nuanced little things. I can't just skim it and be done; I have to watch for all of the mysterious tidbits of information that you throw in. :D
Ooh, you have TWO more chapters out! I can't wait to read on, though it probably won't happen for a while. School keeps me busy, unfortunately (but education is good, so I can't complain TOO much).
'Til next time!
Author's Response: Yay! You're back!!
That's so cool that Rabbit Heart got stuck in your head! Though, I do hope it's not giving you strange nightmares about rabbits. Because that wouldn't be cool. I'd feel like I'd have to apologize or something like that.
At this point, Albus isn't on good terms with his brother, and you can see why. Their relationship does develop through the story, so it won't stay like this forever. But yeah, James is a bit of a jerk at the moment. Stupid big brothers!
"A fragile, gasping thing." Yes. That. And the creep factor that Wren experiences, since she can't visualize her grandparents as anything but motionless bodies. It's amazing that you were able to relate to that so closely.
Aww, thanks! I try to keep things moving along, but these characters have to sometimes take a time out and "brood", or "question", or "re-hash" the daylights out of things. Wrenbus hasn't even gotten started, and already it's being towed in for repairs. Sorry about that!
That's right, James! You better watch out. Al's coming to get you! And his roommate too!
Yes, education is a GOOD thing. Come back when you can. Wren and I will be here, waiting for you.
Thanks so much for a wonderfully complimentary and entertaining review!!