Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:FredWeasleyIsMyKing says:
Hey Dan

Tagging you in the review thread in the CR!!

So... Lily and James... How have I not read this? All I can do is apologise and dive into this review.

So, your start. Immediately it invokes a sadness in me as I can pinpoint where your starting this but I can't help but marvel at your descriptions.. Beautifully written Dan!!

When James is alone I really love how you let him work through all the possibilities that might have happened, particularly as he slowly pieces it together. The part with the pranks him and Sirius did to each other did make me smile though, I could imagine them both doing those things to each other!

As the truth finally hits him, I think his reaction is perfect. I actually wanted to cry for him because that realisation must be so hard for him. The way he breaks though, accepting he died but not being able to accept his wife and sons death is just so gutting. The way he thinks about them, it shows how selfless he really is and how much he loves them. It was so sad but so well written Dan.

He allows the grief to pull him under understandably but when he comes back to himself I like how you take him through the stages of grief, the bargaining in particular. He isn't satisfied though and constantly tried to piece together what happened, from what I have in my head for James, that's perfectly in character. I also love the whole paragraph about him being James Potter and not losing, again very in character.

Again his thoughts are with others as he realises that Sirius is going to take the fall for the betrayal which is of course what happens. Eugh, I can't bare it. Stupid Peter.

I was so happy when Lily appeared! Well happy and sad because obviously she's died too now but at least they have each other. She seems a lot calmer than James and like she's thought things through more, but I'm guessing by her red eyes she pretty much cried herself out.

Lily's very logical as she puzzles out what has/will happen. Cue more heartbreak as she guesses Harry will live with Frank and Alice (if only). It takes James a lot longer to come to terms with Peters betrayal but I like that you gave us some reasoning behind it. You showed us he was part if the marauders which of course he was. Too many people shy away from that fact and I'm glad you aren't one of them.

So I get the feeling that, even though they don't know it, they're actually waiting to appear to Harry in the forest when he calls them using the resurrection stone? Does that mean Sirius and Remus will join afterwards? I'd be fascinated with the possibility of reading more about that!

So once again you've written a beautiful piece Dan. Your characterisation is really strong in this, I loved James. Just yeah, a fantastic piece of writing.

" it's funny how she managed add just a touch of heaven to this insufferable hell. that line is perfect.

Also the whole section where James loves the fact his 1 year old son beat Voldemort was perfect - it did make me giggle!!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi, Lauren!

I tried to be a little mysterious about the starting point of the story, but I guess the flash of green light sort of gives it away. That's alright, I guess. I'm not overly put out by people figuring it out early. Everyone will sooner or later.

I can't imagine that "waking up" in the afterlife wouldn't be a confusing experience, especially after such a sudden and unexpected end to one's life. So I wanted to capture a lot of that confusion and let him try to work his way through all of the unresolved questions.

When the truth does finally dawn on him, that part was hard to write. It's not very difficult to put myself in his position and ponder all of the moments in Harry's life that he's going to miss out on. It's heartbreaking stuff. Then to realize how his death is going to impact others, like Sirius, makes it even tougher. It's a pretty good thing that Lily arrives when she does.

I really enjoy making Lily the voice of reason in their relationship. It's just how I think of her. She's the one who's more likely to be able to think through a situation logically and come up with very plausible ideas of what's happened to them and what's going to happen to Harry. Plausible, but sadly not correct, I'm afraid. Another aspect of the tragedy of Harry's childhood is that fact that I'm pretty sure James and Lily would have been horrified by how things ended up. To see their son raised in an environment devoid of love and support... just awful.

You're absolutely correct about what they're waiting for and it's funny that you mention Sirius and Remus. My original idea was for this story to be longer. To have Sirius and then Remus arrive in the Waiting Room and then have Harry sort of "appear" in their world at the same time that they "appear" in his. But I decided that I like this ending better. It leaves things a bit open-ended for the reader to ponder.

I loved every bit of making James cocky and snarky in this. Even after he's dead, I don't think that part of his personality goes away. Heck, I enjoyed writing it all! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 519
Submit Report: