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Review:adluvshp says:
Hey! Here once again for your requested review from the forums =)

I quite enjoyed this chapter, with everyone's reactions and such. I think you captured them all very well and wrote it in an intriguing manner. The mystery continues to intrigue me and your writing style is as fresh and engaging as ever, so great job once again!

Coming to the characterisations and reactions, I think you've nailed them all. I loved how you showed that Sirius was still concerned and frightened hearing the scream and such, because it shows that even though he's somewhat a "traitor" he still cares for his family - and that is a very realistic sentiment there.

I also liked how we see Bellatrix's distress in this chapter as well - she does love her mother after all and cares about her and grieves for her death. I also like how she suspects Crouch of something fishy - it all shows she cares too, and It is a different but human side of her which I enjoyed reading.

I felt like Regulus' reaction had something fishy in it - he seemed a little too mortified - almost as if he was faking it. But then he did puke and all, so perhaps he is genuinely affected after all and my mind is just trying to point the finger at anyone xP

I also feel similarly suspicious towards Narcissa. She is crying too much - being way too sensitive - which again makes me think if she could be faking it. After all it was her who supposedly found the body this time. But once again it might be that my mind is forming random baseless theories haha.

Nonetheless to say, your writing was spectacular here, especially how you handled everyone's reactions making me guess which ones are genuine and which are not and I've still not come to a conclusion. As I said before, you've pretty much nailed the characterisations.

I am loving the direction in which the plot is headed - another one dead after all - making me wonder who'll be next and if it's the same murderer or not - and all kinds of crazy theories! One of them includes a house-elf being the killer but that's just absurd isn't it? haha.

I think over all this was a great chapter and the mystery is moving along at a smooth pace - not too fast and not too slow - and I am excited to see what else is in store for the Black family now.

I don't have any CC for you once again. I did notice a couple of typos here and there though. One of them was: "As one, you all glance up at the top of the house.." This sentence being in second person doesn't make sense so I figure it's a typo.

I think a thorough re-read (especially reading out loud) will help you spot all of them easily and correct them whenever you get the time. Apart from that, I think this was a nicely done chapter!

Good job!
Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey there, Aditi - so nice to see you back again! :)

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked them all - particularly Bella and Sirius, since I was so worried about them as it's not really common characterisations of them. I've always thought of them as quite similar, so I liked being able to show both of them as human with real depth of emotions in this, particularly towards their family. They do actually care; it's not like it's all gone, and I think things like this do bring out those emotions, no matter how far down you thought they were, you know?

Yeah, Regulus' reaction is a bit fishy... a bit nervous about things, haha, but he is ill and shaken and very upset, so it's not necessarily something to keep in mind for later on! ;)

I do love Narcissa, and I do always think of her as certainly more delicate than the rest of the family, in emotional terms. So yeah, compared to the rest she is definitely a lot more drippy and over-the-top, but she has just discovered her mother's dead body, so it's perhaps a little understandable :P

Haha, I'm glad your confused, if that's not too mean to say! At least it means it's working! ;)

Ooh, house-elf being the killer? You're not the first to have suggested that, let me tell you! But no, crazy theories are great, tbh - I love hearing them so much! I can't answer those questions, but watch out for other things going on... :)

Oooh, thanks so much for that - I do miss things! I'm so glad you pointed that out - I'll definitely go back and look at it again! :)

Thank you so so much for this lovely review, this was such a great thing to get! Thank you! :)

Aph xx


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