Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:MargaretLane says:
OK, I've decided to have a look at this story. *grins* Rather interesting title and summary. I don't think I've seen a next generation story about finding something before.

You do have a couple of spelling mistakes in the early paragraphs. You've spelled McGonagall as "McGonnagal" and "Headmistress" as "head misetress".

The hat's words to Albus seem a bit rushed also. It kind of says, "you'd do well in Slytherin" but then calls out "GRYFFINDOR." It would be good to get a little more indication as to why it chooses that house for him, either by showing it's choosing between the two houses, before it actually decides or by having Albus express his anxiety not to end up in Slytherin.

I always like sorting chapters and I think you particularly created suspense here, because between the fact that Slytherin is mentioned in the story title and the indication Albus and Scorpius will become friends, the possibility of Albus being place in Slytherin really seems to exist. I like that. It's nice when it isn't obvious where he is going to end up.

I'm wondering why James was being sorted here. In the epilogue, it's clear he was already at Hogwarts. Or is this ignoring the epilogue? Are Albus and James twins here?

Rather amusing to have James end up in Slytherin when he was teasing Albus about that. I REALLY wouldn't have expected that.

Hmm, I wonder why you've ended this with McGonagall about to give her speech. I wonder if she is going to say something significant.

Author's Response: Hi.
Yes I think I should have put Albus saying something like "Please, please, please don't be in Slytherin" or something like that. Also I think that I've spelt "McGonnagall" wrong throughout the book. Headmistress was spelt wrong. I will change that.

I like the type of stories that aren't very predictable like in yours I didn't at all expect that Rose and Albus would be put in Ravenclaw. I thought that it would be either Slytherin or Gryffindor. You do sort of get the hint that he's going to be in Gryffindor; but he's not!

The epilogue has been followed a bit but in my book, yes, they are twins as are Rose and Hugo.

Yes I thought that people would think "oh!" I thought he'd be in Gryffindor.

The speech. I don't want to give anything away. thank you for your amazing review and all the suggestions.

Thanks again

HEG


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 199
Submit Report: