I was thoroughly intrigued when I read the summary and immediately started reading the story. It had me hooked!
I was surprised by your portrayal of Slughorn and Millicent Bulstrode though. I've always thought of Slughorn as absent-minded and superficial, only looking for connections with famous people who might be of use to him, which is what you showed in the story but I never pegged him as introspective... Millicent Bullstode, I thought she left Hogwarts instead of fighting against Death Eaters during the war. But then, it's always wonderful to see different sides of characters, the sides I never imagined them to have!
And the fact that you included only the lesser known characters is so refreshing because otherwise, I compare them to their personalities in the book too much and can't grasp how they are in the story unless it shows a different side to them...
I liked that you gradually got to Riddle after former Slytherins like Rabastan and Claire (Is she OC?). Also, you included Millicent Bullstrode as a current Slytherin and it perfected the balance of Past and Present Slytherins.
If you don't mind me saying, I noticed this:
"The last time he had seen her was approximately one hour ago, when she was finally knocked off her broom by Professor Flitwick." According to this, the battle is still going on (I thought that). Why then, is Slughorn in his office and not fighting in the war? Why did he mention "Life would go on, at last, without Tom."? Is Voldemort dead already? If he is dead, shouldn't Slughorn be in the Great Hall celebrating, especcially if it hasn't even been a hour since the victory, if there has been one?
I absolutely love that you mention and affirm that Slytherin is not about being evil. In fact, most of them were just misguided. Surely, as you said, with Voldemort dead, they'll be so much better and have less prejudices.
Keep writing! Loved the story...
Author's Response: Hey, thanks for dropping by :)
Yeah, it seems like I tend to take a more sympathetic view on Slughorn than many other people. I agree that he's shallow and naive, but I tend to think of him as having good intentions. I think he'd be gracious to the people who helped elevate his status. As for Millicent, I bent canon a little bit to include her in the way I depicted here, but I don't think it's too farfetched for some Slytherins to have remained in the castle.
Yes, Claire is a OC. I'm glad you liked how I progressed through time and different characters to show the wide range of personalities and outcomes in Slytherin.
You were right about the timing. This is sometimes the risk of not writing a whole story in one sitting :) I went back and changed it in the statement about Claire so hopefully it seems a bit more realistic now. The story is meant to be set shortly after the Battle of Hogwarts; my view is that Slughorn would want to celebrate like everyone else but might want a moment to himself because of everything he must be feeling (given his especially personal connection to Voldemort and the Death Eaters). Anyway, thanks for pointing that out! It's tough to catch every mistake.
Thanks for your kind review!