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Review:marinahill says:
Hi, I'm here from the review tag.

A couple of things first. I noticed a couple of mistakes in your French so I hope you don't mind if I point that out. Your title - it should be "Quelques ann/ees plus tard". And your chapter title should probably be "un s/ejour inattendu".

(The "/e" indicates an 'e' with an accent, but the archive won't accept the special character.)

Now I'm not a Dramione shipper myself, but your chapter does raise many questions as an ideal starting chapter. You definitely leave me wondering what has happened in the years they've been away. Obviously something happened that meant they got married and had kids and only now are they ready to return. Kingsley's reaction mirrors my own somewhat - he's surprised that they're together and I am too with him. Hermione seems very protective of Malfoy though and I liked that - it's clear that she's expecting some negative reactions to their marriage. It was very realistic.

I perhaps would have liked to have seen some more description in this chapter, maybe a bit more about they characters' reactions to things, how they held themselves, perhaps a bit more about what they were thinking. You could also have slipped in a bit of background info, but you had just about the right balance of information in this first chapter to keep the reader interested. After all, it would not have been good to have an information overload so I think you got the balance right in that respect.

Nice first chapter :)

Marina

Author's Response: Hey,

I'd appreciate you correcting my French. I've only just started learning it and my teacher suggested I use it where ever I can. Hence the French! I'm going to correct it now that you've told me...

I probably will include their past in the story as flashbacks or as another story. We'll see.

I was aiming for realistic and I'm glad it came through.

I'm working on the description part. Lots of people and my beta have told me about it and I'm trying. Maybe I'll get better at it as I go on.

Thanks for reviewing and hoping you'll continue reading as I put up more chapters,

Kinnu


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