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Review:Pixileanin says:
You know what happens when you write a great first chapter? People come back for more.

Hi.

Poor Audrey. She's had a horrible wake up, and then an equally, if not more horrific run in with Penelope. Obviously, this woman thinks she still has dibs on Percy. Interesting... I can't wait to see what Percy says about that, if anything. The sad thing is, the way you showed him last chapter, who is mental enough to want dibs on Percy?? Clearly, I have more to read.

I love how Audrey is constantly worried over what Granny Lucy is going to say to her when she's faced with bad things. Haha! And her points and counting them are also rather endearing. You've given her quite a large personality. It's so fun to read about Audrey and what she's thinking.

The girls gossiping was another fun section to read. You gave us a ton of information about their relationships with each other, and the way they carry on their personal lives too in a relatively small space, and in a very entertaining fashion.

Granny Lucy is quite a character, indeed. She's just as large as your other characters, and she definitely surprised me. I thought she was going to give Audrey tons of "different" problems about the picture in the paper, but she went round the other way. I loved your description of her, with her green eye shadow and red lipstick. Rather overdramatic, which is where I assume Audrey gets a lot of her perspective from.

Everything reads real smoothly so far. I'm not coming up against any bumps in your narrative, and your prose is VERY entertaining. Have I said how entertaining I am finding this story? I think I mentioned it once or twice. :)

The whole heart swelling thing was really funny. Audrey is an inspiration! hehehe!

Author's Response: Hey Pix, thanks for coming back again it means so much to me!

Yes, Penelope will continue to be like that unfortunately, but then writing evil people is so much fun, more so than nice people at times so I can't complain :P Percy and Penelope have a LOT of history which will be explored a lot more in future chapters as it does relate to a lot of things.

I'm glad that you liked it because the older generation isn't really involved all that much in stories but writing them here was a lot of fun because they do need to be integrated a lot more!

I'm glad that you liked that as I've been working at how to include information in a fun way rather than a word bomb like I used to do, so that really means a lot to me given what you've seen of my writing *shivers at memories*!

Haha, she is indeed and large is probably a good way to describe her! I think Audrey just doesn't want to let her Granny Lucy down as she's done so much for her so it's more self-imposed fears rather than anything else, yes the make-up is certainly garish!

Gah, Pix that just means so much because like I've said before, you knew my writing at the beginning and really did help me reach this stage so thank you for that and the wonderful compliments in this review, it means so much to me!

-Kiana


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