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Review:shez says:
Hi there! Here with your requested review from...err long, long ago hehe. AHEM.

So I think this story's come a long way and you've definitely gone and fixed some of the coherency issues that were in chapter 1. In fact, this is turning out to be one of the better fanfics I've read in my day, in that it's a. very well written b. has a unique plotline c. and compelling characters. I'm really enjoying reading about Grace and marauders and I like how you've incorporated her into their time line. Additionally, I like how you're telling about Grace's powers little by little. One thing that irked me a little (and it's a personal issue, so feel free to ignore) is that she calls Dumbledore by his first name. Also, i'm not exactly sure why she's so infatuated with Severus aside from them being "soulmates" (really like his characterization though, and their awkward conversation haha). Remus is my favorite at the moment.

I don't really have any useful critique but just a couple things to keep in mind:

you'll have to be pretty careful/skilled developing Grace/Snape (if it's happening). at the moment it doesn't seem like it's plausible.

James and Grace being siblings...a little more background on that/and sibling development. And how/why grace turned out the way she did and not James. Are her powers hereditary (sorry if you answered this. I just don't remember)? Do their parents ever make an appearance?

Of course no rush :). Tell your story the way you think it deserves to be told. You're doing a fantastic job so far :) Excellent writing!

Author's Response: Hello ;)!

Thank you! I've been attempting to keep this closely knit, to maintain some realism and cannon-relativity. She calls Dumbledore by his first name for a reason, which I believe is disclosed over the next several chapters. Her infatuation is based solely on the fact that he is supposed to be his soulmate, much in the same way Grace is infatuated with Remus because he is supposed to be her Servitor. Remus is pretty awesome ;).

Yeah, that is a treacherous, lengthy development that I have planned out... it is not exactly a romantic endeavor but, you know.

All of those questions are answered in future chapters :D. Well, most of them are answered in chapter 7 actually ;).

Anyway, thanks so much for getting back to me!

-Rumpel


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