Hey there! I was so glad to see you re-request since I've really missed reading this story! One of the annoying things about being busy... missing out on things like this... :)
Anyway - first thought, best thought: wow. Just wow. This felt pretty short - I'm not sure if it was short or it was just me and the speed of the action in this - but I don't think it matters at all that much, because this seems to be a pretty important chapter, and I like how it's its own section, you know? I think it needs to be...
See, to me this seems to really be the point where things get dark for Eleanor, where it really hits her that it isn't some kind of game, that people are dying and people will die, and she might die, and that kind of stuff... almost a loss of innocence, if you will. It's always hardest when it's someone you know, and that's, I think, when it really hits you and it becomes real, if that makes sense. So yeah, I think because of that it kinda needed to be on it's own, because what else would you have put with it? And it's such an important moment for Eleanor...
Anyway, I'm rambling!
I love Eleanor as a character, really I do! I honestly don't read Sirius/OC fics, because I never ever like the OCs, pretty much no matter what, so the fact that I even like her is almost a miracle in itself :P But yeah, she's a fabulous character. She's sort of kinda the 'normal' person in the war, seeing what's going on and reacting. I love how she didn't want the boy to do and ran over when he fell to the ground even though she knew it was helpless... it's such a human reaction, and really brings her to life and makes her realistic. I really liked, as well, how she didn't want to be around Sirius at the end, even though he was trying to comfort her - I like that she's not latching onto him or anything, she sort of wants to mourn in private and just be on her own and think, or not think... it's really great characterisation! :)
I looked through this twice to see if there was anything I could comment constructively on for you, but there was honestly nothing at all. No grammar/spelling mistakes, no flow issues... everything's really good!
I really don't think you need to worry at all about things not making sense. To me, it makes perfect sense why Sirius would be a bit more distant with her - he's in the Order, she's not. He's an Auror, she's not. His family are nuts and want to kill him, and he doesn't want to make her a target ;)
I'm really excited to see where this goes from here, because it's such an interesting plot and I'm so curious to see how Eleanor deals with this, if she and Sirius get a little closer now that they've met up again, how their relationship goes (I'm not sure they'll necessarily make it work... I foresee arguments! :P), and, gah, just everything!
I hope I answered all of your areas of concern... I think I did! But yes, I really, really enjoy this story and really regret not having read it in a while!
Please, please re-request! :)
Author's Response: Hey Aph!
Thank so much for your thoughtful review! I really appreciate the feedback!! *hug*
Yah, this is a turning point for Eleanor. Not so much where she decides she's going to go down fighting, but she's thrust into the war a little more strongly than what she was before. She can't be a passive observer of the after affects anymore. You hit it in on the head when you say it's a loss of innocence. I think it's different from when you think you know about the war, when you see people come into the hospital or you read about it in the paper and when you actually experience it first hand. That's not something Hogwarts students would have a lot of experience. Even the Marauders would have a moment when they realize how real it is.
I'm so pleased you like Eleanor!! Ahhh!!! This comment made me go over the moon. She's my first OC that i've ever seriously written about in ff and it's lovely to hear she seems real. She's fun to write and explore. The fact you like her is more than I could even hope for! I'm with you when you say you're unsure of Sirius/OC's. I am too. I usually get annoyed by the OC or they seem like replica's of each other. I also get annoyed at their Sirius' too. Timeturner is one of the few authors that writes a young Sirius that I believe in. I'm really pleased you feel Eleanor has some depth. I put a bit of thought in while writing her. I want her to be her own person, not someone who, as you say, clings on to the man. I'm pleased that shown through here. It has it's good and bad parts as although she's independent, she also shoves people out of her emotional life. Anyway, thank you for those lovely comments about her!
I don't think Sirius would be stupid enough to parade around someone he potentially would like, or parade around a friend who could be hurt. Although me may not understand other people's weaknesses and limitations, he won't put them in danger. Especially with his family and their connections. Also, there is a huge gap of their beliefs that are coming into play. Hogwarts, that didn't matter as much. I think more of those beliefs were assumed to be shared and now that they are in it, they both realize how difficult it is going to be. This gap is going to play later on in their friendship/relationship thing. You're right. It''ll be difficult whatever way it turns out. :)
Thank you so much for your lovely review!!!