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Review:kenpo says:
Hey! Here with your review! Yay!

Hah. The opening line sets up his character, as well as his relationship with Rowena, so well. I like blunt openers like that.

"mounting sense of dread"
really like that.

Yes! The sword. Oh! In the last chapter, Helga had a cup, didn't she?!

Wow, kenpo, that took you a while...

But yay, the sword. Wait, I'm pretty sure you mentioned the sword in chapter one, too.

Moving on!

I like that he says he can't fight with his wand because it'd be unfair. That's also good for defining his character.

It's very unusual that his wife would fight alongside him, isn't it?

Oh no! I can see how this would lead to strained relations between magic and muggle...

The pacing of the section where the muggle is killed is a little too fast for my tastes. I found myself having to go back and reread it because I nearly missed what was happening. I also lack focus, so take that with a (few) grain(s) of salt.

Whoa. I totally wasn't expecting them to come up with the idea for the school right there.

I really like the way you're weaving existing history into the story. It gives it a really fantastic depth and makes it more enjoyable to read.

I think the founders are so interesting. They display pretty clearly the traits that they give to their houses, but they're still real people. They have flaws, and you've portrayed that well.

This review is really disorganised and probably not very helpful... but here it is! I really do enjoy reading this. Feel free to rerequest!

Author's Response: Oh good, I'm glad you like the opening line! That's a pretty important part of a chapter because if it weren't interesting no one would bother to read on :p It is wonderful to hear that that line is effective characterisation.

Yep that should be a familiar cup and sword ;) Haha, don't worry if it took you a while - my point was to be subtle about those things and not say something like "Look, Helga has a cup which will become a Horcrux in a thousand years!" So I'm kind of glad they didnt jump out at you, and fit seamlessly into the story.

It may be unusual. But I think witches probably had a stronger role in society than most women of the time. Besides, why should she not be awesome in a battle? :p

It is a bit fast paced, I was kind of trying to have it move faster than the previous section which moves much slower. I will have a look at it again though to see if I can clear it up, I'm not trying to confuse people!

I am so glad you like my portrayal of the Founders with all their flaws. They may have started a successful wizarding school but they are human, and people have flaws.

Thank you so much for your review!!


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