Hey there! So, I got to this because MissesWeasley123 directed me to it in a review swap instead of asking me to review something of hers. Just so you know who to thank, rather than thanking me for this ;)
So, as it happens, I've actually read some of your stuff before - Methuselah, and maybe something else, but I can't quite remember - so I was pretty sure this was going to be good before I started.
Of course, this was amazing. I love love love how you didn't name any of the characters in it (except for McGonagall but I'm not really counting her as such :P), since it lent an air of mystery to it without diminishing any of the emotion. In a way, it enhanced it - kinda like the idea of the tomb of unnamed soldier, you know, where it's the symbolism of the loss garnered and the loss of innocence and total number of lives... and then, at the end when you pulled it back to 'reality', I guess, with the mention of 'dad, it was so lovely and managed to bring the two sides of it together. The metaphysical loss and total loss, and the personal loss of a girl's father. At least, that was my interpretation of it (and I thought it was incredibly difficult and yet you did it so perfectly), I don't know if that was what you meant... ;)
I loved as well how you didn't include any dialogue in this, how it was all description. It reminded me sort of of a silent movie or something, or seeing photographs on a wheel, you know, with no sound to accompany them... it's a pretty chilling effect. Your description, as well, was gorgeous. Just gorgeous. Every word fits so well in this - I don't know if you sat down and thought about each one, but whether you did or didn't, it's spectacular writing!
There were a couple of mistakes I spotted - 'victims eyes' should be 'victim's eyes', and 'Mcgonagall' should be 'McGonagall' - but they didn't upset anything at all, and they're just small little things, easy to change ;)
The level of detail in this was brilliant too. I loved the mentions of McGonagall's accent, rolling the 'r's, the black pigtails, the warmth of her hand, the crunch of cracking crisps. Okay, so a lot of those are descriptive, but it was all so good! :)
So yes, I really, really enjoyed this! I'm so glad I was asked to review it, because otherwise I might never have found it and that would have been a real shame.
Have yourself a favourite story while I go grab a cup of tea and some chocolate to cheer myself up ;)
Author's Response: Thanks so so much Aph!! This review still blows me away whenever I read it. I think you're the one with the attention to detail - you picked things up in here that I think i missed :D.
I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I'm glad you picked up that I was trying to show sort of the magnitude but also the impact of the loss in the war. I's so easy to dehumanize characters that we never meet, only knowing that they have died, so I felt like I had to make it personal, if that makes sense.
I rarelythink about every word, so I'm glad it turned out so well for you :)
Again, I'm so happy you've enjoyed it and thank you again and again for the amazing review ( don't worry, I've thanked Nadia too).
I hope you enjoyed that tea and chocolate, as it sounds quite wonderful ;)