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Review:Kinnu says:

I liked your storyline. It has a new side to the normal prompt (Ron cheating on Hermione).

What I liked most is the fact that Ron and Astoria didn't get together, because that happens in most stories and Ron and Lavender got together... That's definitely new! Loved it...

Hermione is emotionally and mentally strong, and your portrayal of it is very good. The way she turns away Ron and leaves him, kudos to you for writing it!

I especially like the way you write your sentences long... I write them that way too!

If you don't mind me saying though, I thought Draco was very OOC. He sure isn't usually embarrassed, doesn't blush (definitely), and he's more composed (I think). But if that's what you think he's like, go with it! I thought his change of mindset wouldn't change his sarcasm or big ego. I mean, his pig-headedness clearly showed in a few areas but he fluctuated in between personalities.

I also noticed a few spelling mistakes and Canon stuff that went slightly wrong like The Burrow (You wrote The Borrow). I'm sure it was completely unintentional but you can always edit it, right?

I read the whole story together today and I felt that Dramione got together too fast. I mean, they've hated each other since forever and Hermione just believes Draco when he says he's changed and falls in love with him? Probably improbable but maybe possible. I would have liked it better if they had a few more chance encounters before they started seriously considering each other.

Hermione's intelligence didn't show through. Neither did her job though I think you mentioned it. But if that's a part of your storyline, ignore me...

In a few places, I thought present and past tenses were getting kind of mixed up, so maybe you could rectify that.

Read my story if you can and tell me what you think. My pen name is Kinnu. I'd love to have your opinion because I've just started the story!

Keep going! Looking forward to reading more stories of yours,


Author's Response: Hi Kinnu!
Thank you for this lovely review!!
I will definitely read your story:)
And I agree that Draco was particularly out of character in this story. Also that they moved too fast. This is my very first fan fiction and I am aware it needs alot of help :P someday I will sit down and edit it all. Thanks so much once again for reading and reviewing. Please read my newest Dramione 'Coming Home After a Disaster' sometime and tell me what you think. Thanks so much once again. Look for my review!!!

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