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Review:marauderfan says:
Hi! I've already given you CC for this chapter but haven't had a chance to gush about it yet, so that's what I'm doing now. :D

You have a wonderful writing style in this story for portraying Molly's grief and denial, all the short sentence fragments and repetition, and the way she seems to notice things like her greasy hair for the first time, really shows how much she is living in her own head. I can tell there's a lot happening outside Molly's little corner of the world but she sees it all through a lens. I particularly love the line about things not going according to her plan.

I'm glad at least James is picking up on something being wrong with Molly, especially as no one else really sees it yet.

I like how you've written Percy and Audrey as well. Actually it seems to me that Audrey is in denial a bit too - clearly not as much as Molly is, but I can see it, even though Molly doesn't notice it or comment on it. Possibly a trait that runs in the family, then, either way I like how you've shown Molly's alienation from the way her own family is feeling.

The plot about the smuggling operation is quite interesting. It will definitely be interesting to see how that develops, especially considering Molly's understanding and state of mind.

Excellent chapter!! :)

Author's Response: Hey!!!

Thanks so much! Gah! I'm over the moon with your review! I'm so pleased you enjoy my writing style. Also, that you like it with this story and feel like it helps with the portrayal of the grief rather than detracts from it or takes away from the emotions Molly may be feeling. I can definitely relate, myself, to how Molly feels in that moment when everything has crashed down around her. Everything outside of what she's experiencing seem irrelevant. Especially for a character like Molly who needs a plan and this plan must be followed. She's a bit rigid with that, the demands she puts on herself for perfection and order don't make it easier for her to deal when something messes things up. Perhaps she'll break out of this lens type focus she has on.

It seemed natural for it to be James. And I think people do pick up on it, all her cousins, but James is the only one bold enough to say anything about it.

yes Audrey isn't experiencing anything good at the moment, she's fallen in on herself as well. Which makes it harder for her to see how her daughter is suffering through her own grief. Molly wouldn't comment on it, at least, not in any real sense other than noticing that her mum is loosing weight and looking frail and wispy. Molly feels like everything should be just fine so admitting that things are going wrong would be going against this world she's tried to create.

Anyway, all that is about to change as something is being forced on them and hopefully it'll take the lens off. But we shall see what happens with this smuggling thing. It's been an idea i've had for a while so i'm glad I can finally explore it.

Thank you so much for your review!!


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