Hello! I'm back with another review for you! :D
Okay, to be honest, I JUST NOW read the summary of this story. (Because I'm inattentive like that.) WHY. JUST WHY. SUCH CREEPY. (Sorry for that, but it creeped me out a little.) Is Albus going to turn into a rabbit?! Plzzz no, that would be HORRIFYING. You've already creeped me out enough with the bunnies as it is!
For instance, the little rabbit that creepy ol' Dillon gave Wren. WHY is he suddenly not in his cage anymore?! What's up with that? This constant rabbit-y motif is super freaky, and while I know that it's kind of the point of the story (as the title would indicate), it doesn't mean that I have to like it!!
No, no, no. Don't get me wrong. This is a GREAT story. I really love it so far. But I'm not so sure that I'll be able to handle the rabbits. It's a sign of a brilliant author when you can instill a heretofore unknown fear of Leporidae into one of your readers. (Well actually, I hope that I'm not the only one who's creeped out about this. That would just make me a pansy.)
So it's Wren's birthday today and she hasn't seen her friends in a month. Additionally, she doesn't have any film, which is a bit odd for someone who likes taking pictures so much. AND THEN THERE'S THAT DARN RABBIT, MAKING HER THINK WARM FUZZY THOUGHTS. I'm sorry. I just can't control my anxiety about this. :P But what's up with the no-seeing-of-friends thing? Why? Has she been too busy with Gran, or is something going on that I don't know about yet?
Hmm, okay, so I'm reviewing as I'm reading (I'm reading it for the second time, just to make sure I know what's going on), and now I see that Wren has been declining invitations from her Wotter pals because of Gran. That's really sad, but also sweet. And then she totally zones out while Nellie is talking... Most curious, indeed! But the Wrenbus mention is cute--I like that Wren has a crush on Al, but she's too afraid to admit it. However, the whole zoning-out thing takes precedence over Wrenbus as KIND OF A BIG DEAL, so the ship is obviously not ready to sail yet. I like that about this story--it's definitely not going to be all about the kissing and the hugging, especially if my hunch is correct and Albus is going to turn into a giant rabbit... (That's totally not my hunch--just an irrational fear, heh heh.)
"When she came out of the kitchen, she didn't recognize the tall, lanky form sitting with their back to the fireplace."~Okay, so I guess this fits under the category of "anything else" that I might like to mention. The problem with this sentence is not a huge deal, but I have a constructive comment (for once), so I'm mentioning it! The "their" in the sentence implies plurality--because the person is singular, you'd need "him" or "her" instead of "their."
Haha, James is so daffy. And he obviously likes to pick on Albus a lot--poor kid. So the mysterious figure is Albus, only a lot taller. I wonder if he likes Wren just as much as she like him, if he's worried about his pants so much. The taller thing is funny--it's odd how that happens to teenage boys sometimes, and you've definitely used the effects of puberty to their fullest advantage here! :)
UH OH WRENBUS ALERT!! THE WRENBUS IS LEAVING THE STATION IN FIVE MINUTES. ALL ABOARD WHO'S COMING ABOARD!! Well, I'd like to buy a ticket, please! Because I haven't seen too much of Albus and I'm only just getting to know Wren, but I'm a bit of a romantic, so I totally ship them. However, I am SUPER glad that their form of flirting/having feelings for each other is a mass of awkward glances, dodging around the obvious, and never saying what they actually want to say. It makes things difficult for the characters, and I love to watch them squirm! :D
Oh, yup! Everybody else thinks it's odd, too! Wren minus camera minus film plus Bunny equals strange happenings on the funny farm. That rabbit is no good. Absolutely not. I really want this thing to be demystified!! D:
Hmmm, it might just be an oversight on my part, but I'm not really sure why Rose said "That's brilliant!" Was she talking about the incoming Scorpius and Callie?
...No. I see. She zoned out for what felt like three seconds, but it was actually longer than that! It's brilliant, how you do that. It makes me feel like I'M Wren because I just get so boggled! As far as flow, it was interrupted by my own confusion, but that's what I get for jumping the gun!
Hm, more strange thoughts of nature that are completely uncalled for. And then... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WRENBUS IS LEAVING THE STATION... Oh wait, not yet. Heh. I REALLY enjoy how you're intertwining the romantic things with the creepy things. It makes for an interesting juxtaposition, and I want to find out what's going on!!
As always, this was a brilliant chapter. The flow is marvelous--I love how it feels like I'm inside Wren's head, to the point that I get confused when she does. It's pretty amazing that you can do that with words!!
Okay, I guess I've talked too much now. I hope that this review is somewhat coherent. :)
Author's Response: Great gobblety gook! It's a review from UnluckyStar57!!!
I love you!!! You named my ship! Hehehe. I couldn't think of a more appropriate name if I tried. Seriously, this review had me laughing and snorting and giggling for a very, very long time. I don't know how you do it. Are you a professional comedian? I want some of those skilz!
Creepy bunnies?? But they're so fluffy and cute and cuddly... and everywhere. You're right. It is a bit creepy, isn't it? I'm sorry to say, but the rabbits aren't going away anytime soon. Yeah, since it is the whole point of the story... you'll just have to put on your "creep-deflecting" raincoat and glasses when you come back for more. You are coming back for more, aren't you? Pleeze?
YES!! "Anything Else"... you found something. Yay! My betas didn't seem to have an issue with this, but honestly, I stared at that line for many minutes, trying to figure out what I could do with it. Yes, there's one person there, and yes, the verb doesn't agree... but if she doesn't know whether it's male or female, I couldn't just have her label him/her in her head. I finally went with what I did because that's what I *think* in my head when I'm trying not to gender-label someone. They become a "they", whether it's one or many. There's this thing in the German language with the formalized "you". I don't know if you're familiar with it, but when someone addresses "you" formally, the verb conjugation is the same as the third person plural. I guess it's making the "important You" seem greater... Anyway, I did it in my head, so that's where that came from. I just Googled it (because it's been a long time), and it said somewhere that English is the only indo-European language that doesn't distinguish between a formal and informal "you". Crazy language rules... anyway.
Puberty. It's it's own comedy show.
Massive awkward indeed. I'm glad it makes your shipping-heart happy, because you can expect a bit more of that coming up. :) Also, is it common to condense NextGen Albus ships into "busses"? I found that extremely entertaining, and since I don't read a ton of Albus ships, it was totally unexpected. And hilarious. Just so you know, it's going to be typical of a "first vehicle", where they cobbled together the parts from several other automobiles they found in a junk yard, and it's missing a few wires here and there. And I'm pretty sure there's no air conditioning and the windows are stuck half open. Needless to say, you can expect it to break down every other block or so. If they even get the engine to turn over...
Uh oh. Confusion alert. Haha! I love how you attributed it to the character. I'll go back and check that, but I kind of like the idea of you being able to get inside Wren's head and experience things from her skewed perspective.
Thanks so much for the incredible running review! You are awesome!!!