Hey! Finally here with your requested review! Sorry it took so long!
Alright, just from the opening paragraph, I'm really liking this. Your descriptions are well written, and you've added a point of interest; who is the man she wishes were there?
I like the interaction between Rowena and her mother.
Haha, I like how she's got a bit of attitude with the Lord. "sycophantic suitors" what a fantastic description.
I like your brief mention of Helga. I like to get all the characters and their basic web of relationships out in the open.
After all the obsequious and arbitrary compliments she’d heard that evening, it was refreshing to hear a real one. Despite the simplicity of his statement, Rowena could feel her heart fluttering.
I can totally imagine how she's looking back at the estate. It has a really playful atmosphere that I'm really enjoying.
I love your ideas about brooms!
Oh no! Salazar has another lady?!
Okay. I liked this. A lot. For the points that you asked about...
I think you used a good amount of description. I got a feel for the setting, but without having one long block of descriptive text. I like the way you weaved character descriptions into the narrative rather than setting aside time to describe them, if that makes sense. Like you told us what color hair Helga and Rowena have while describing their actions. Which I liked. I got description, but not all thrown at me.
Wow, sorry, I'm rambling.
Characterisation: Again, no complaints! I enjoyed the contrasts between Helga and Rowena, and I'm looking forward to reading more of them. There wasn't much of Godric, but I'm already seeing clear personalities. You've done a marvelous job at starting to define the characterisation.
Story Flow: Right on point. There were clear "sections" of the story, so it didn't feel like one long, relentless story, but thsoe sections blended together well into a pleasurable narrative.
Is it interesting: Yes! I love Founders stuff, so I thought it was interesting before I even started reading. But I think you've got a really great start. This is a really cool first chapter. You've given enough information to give a good idea of what you can expect from the rest of the story without giving away too much.
Really great, thanks for requesting! Feel free to rerequest (I'll try to be better about getting back you to you...)
Author's Response: Hi! Wow, what a lovely review!
I'm so glad you liked it from the first paragraph, that is really wonderful to hear!
Thanks, I'm happy that you like that style of descriptions and thought it worked! And that description of the suitors haha, yeah I thought it sounded like something very Ravenclaw-y to say haha.
:D thanks, I'm happy you enjoyed the part about brooms!
Also great to hear that about the characterisation. I'm glad you liked the bit wih Rowena and her mother, and the contrasts between Helga and Rowena. Its nice to hear that their personalities are already clear. Yeah, there wasn't much of Godric in this chapter, but the next one is from his POV so you get to see his side there.
Yay, I'm glad you like Founders era - and that you find the story interesting! This was a very nice review, thank you!