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Review:nott theodore says:
Hi Kiana! So, I promised you that I'd be here, even though this is completely different to what I'd normally read, especially with the Draco/Rose ship!

This was really beautiful, Kiana. Every time I read one of your stories it seems to be an improvement on the last with your writing, and you always seem to pick the right style and narration to fit with what's going on in your story. The second person present tense worked really well here - I felt like it fit well with Rose, and showed some of her youthful optimism which seemed to be one of the main things that carried her relationship with Draco so far.

I loved your characterisation of Rose here as well. I've read quite a few different versions of her in the past, but I've never read her like this and I loved seeing it. She was so young and full of hope compared to Draco in this, and I felt like she had a very strong voice even though it was written in second person rather than first. You adapted the narrative to suit her so well, and I really enjoyed that. Rose felt very realistic, as well - she was bored with her job, but had her passion of art, she wanted to try new and exciting things. It fit well to build up an overall view of her character and create someone who was very likable.

I loved the fact that she worked in an art gallery! It's a profession I've never seen before in fanfiction and it fit brilliantly with her character. Your description all centred around art as well, and I thought it was really, really beautiful - poetic in places, when you use colour to symbolise so many different things. The opening especially grabbed me, the way you described Rose seeing life in art. It was really brilliant!

One thing I really enjoyed was the way that you used the story to explore all the different aspects of Draco and Rose's relationship, because it helped to make it much more believable. You didn't shy away from the age difference, either - you focused on it in places, especially the way that Rose was fascinated by the way that Draco had aged, his wrinkles and things like that. It made sense that he'd feel more conscious of it than her - that he'd feel older, even, because he's with someone so young. I was almost willing them to stay together in this, you wrote their relationship so well!

The meeting with Ron and Hermione was well written too, and I liked the way that you kept coming back to that in the story. Their reactions are entirely understandable - it's not just that he's a Malfoy and that he's a former Death Eater, it's also the fact that he's the same age as they are. I always imagine that Rose and Scorpius would have problems if they were together, as far as their parents are concerned, so Ron's reactions seemed to fit well with what would happen if Rose brought Draco home!

I think it was great that even though the fact they came from two 'rival' families, it was the age difference rather than their families that tore them apart. The meeting with Ron and Hermione might have been the catalyst for it, but I think they were kind of incompatible all along, they were just pretending that they weren't. I liked the fact that Draco was the one to end it too, not in a horrible way, but because he thought that's what would be best for Rose. Even though the ending was really sad and Rose was still hoping that they could continue their relationship, I think that it fit well with the story and felt like the right thing to happen.

This was a really brilliant one-shot, Kiana. Good luck with the challenges!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian! I'm so glad that you came to read it as I know you don't go for non-canon ships and the fact that you liked it too means so much to me!

Aw, I'm so glad that you think I keep on improving it means so much to me! Haha, we should start a trend of writing in second person, as it is a lot of fun, I think it just gives a different perspective of things which is good in a ship like this. I'm glad you liked Rose as this is my third version of her and I try and write her differently each time which is a lot of fun! I'm glad you found her realistic too, because I was worried that her dating Draco would make her a little strange and all, but I suppose with her she almost wants that excitement in her life as nothing much is happening in it, so it was a good thing he came along.

Ha, yeah, it was a bit strange for me considering I'm terrible at it and visit an art gallery once a year at the most, but I needed a public place for them to meet in and as art attracts strange things it seemed to work for them. Haha, describing things in arty ways was so much fun because there are so many ways in which you can do it allowed me things to do it a different light.

I'm glad you picked up on how they viewed the age difference differently because no one had really looked at it in the same as you did. It was a lot of fun to explore the contrast of Rose's fascination and Draco's almost disgust at the age gap because it ties in with their backgrounds with Rose having a more liberal one and Draco's conservative one so it was strange to see it crop up in unexpected places like that. What? You were willing on a non-canon ship? Wow, that means so much to me to hear you say that! :D

I'm glad that you liked that because the whole doomed from the beginning thing was a little too fun for me because I just wanted to remind you a happy ending for the two could never happen *evil cackle*. Yeah, I think at least if it was Scorpius there would be a little more open with him being the same age and only a child of Draco's, but the fact this is Draco who is the same age as them they just wouldn't ever be able to deal with it. I think if Rose had dated Dean or someone else the same age she probably would have come across the same problems there too.

I'm glad that you liked the break-up, because I wanted to show that Rose and Draco were independent enough to look past those differences, but the age gap was something that would continually haunt them and they would never free themselves of that one. I'm glad you thought it fitted well because right up until I posted it I was still toying with the idea of changing it and making it happy, but that wouldn't have been as fun :P

Thank you for such a brilliant review which really made me smile, Sian!

-Kiana


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