LAURA. I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO STOP IT.
Seriously, this is so, so good. I don't know how you do it but you have such an incredible talent for description, I'm super jealous. You can paint the most vivid picture with just a few words, or perfectly describe a subtle and nuanced mood in a paragraph. Some of these words seem like they just got painted onto a canvas, if that makes sense - they all fit together in one perfect brush stroke.
I love the plot so far, as well. It's all so mysterious and intriguing, I really couldn't stop reading. There are not enough Black family mysteries in the world, and that is a fact. Even if there were more, I doubt many of them would be as awesome as this.
Okay, some particularly beautiful lines I loved were:
The rest of the staircase is dark, the house-elves having put the candles out before dinner had even begun, and those furthest up it look dark and tall.
^This just creates such an interesting mood, dark and... I can't even think of the word, but it's uneasy in a way, it totally reflects the darkness over all the lives of these characters. The fact that the candles are put out even before dinner, like everything kind of ends before it begins, if that makes sense? Anyway, this gave me chills to read.
Chopin's Piano Sonata in B Flat Minor, Opus Thirty-Five, Number Two.
The Funeral March
^ *raises hand* hi, my name's Maia, and I'm a classical music addict. I actually learnt this on piano a few years ago, so I know the song really well, and this reference just perfectly evokes the mood you're going for here.
"There was no blood,"... "There was no blood," ... I thought there would be blood - there always is at these things - but there wasn't. No blood at all... There was no blood.
^Okay so I chopped bits out of this just to say I love all this repetition. It makes it so powerful, and also so eerie, such a casual observation, but it makes everyone seem just a little bit unsure.
It is the first time Orion has ever called him ‘father’. He suspects it will not be the last.
^Such an interesting look at the dynamics between these characters, and a perfect, nuanced and complex way to end the chapter.
So, basically, I loved this. It was so powerful, and eerie, and mysterious and intriguing. Well done!
Author's Response: *picks up jaw and hands it back*
I'M SORRY, OKAY? I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENS, OFFICER, I SWEAR. :P
Gah, thank you so so much for that! I tend to overload things with copious amounts of description and not enough dialogue, so I'm glad you liked it! :) The beginning took me so long to write (I rewrote it three times), in choosing the right words and making sure it sounded right, so thank you! :D
Yes, more Black mysteries! Ah, they just suit the genre so well, it's unbelieveable. It's almost scary how well the two fit together... But yes, more would be excellent! :)
It is kind of foreshadowing, isn't it? Even though it's not actually before the story, just in the timeline of things... ahem, I overthink things, haha ;) But yeah, that makes perfect sense - and I never really thought about it that way before, just that it would make for a particularly spooky setting!
ME TOO! I borrow my dad's cds - all of them, in fact, not just the classical ones - and listen to them. I have my own Chopin and Rachmaninov cds too. And Tchaikovski. And Beethoven. So yeah, I have a few. I couldn't resist putting the reference in... :P
Thank youuu! I'm glad you liked that bit - I always feel I tend to overuse repetition, and try to cut down on a bit of it. Like the 'rule of three' for description - I use that all the time, so I'm trying to stop.
Thank you so so much for this lovely, lovely review - I really love hearing from you and I'm so glad you liked it! :) :hug: