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Review:ohmymerlin says:
Hey, Isobel! I'm here from my review thread :)

First off, I think your characters are all wonderful. They're all believable and realistic. So I don't think you need to worry about that so much.

And I'm just going to answer your author's note question. You gave the exact amount of background information without shoving it all in our faces. I quickly read the first chapter and you did it extremely well in that one as well! You have a knack for giving just the right amount of information without overwhelming us. Good job!

So, you asked about Thierry's plan. In my honest opinion, I think he's over-dramatising it but you have explained that in the chapter. I think he should just grow a pair and ask her the truth - but politely, of course. I understand how it's probably necessary for the plot but it's so unnecessary for Thierry. Also, I think it's a bit ridiculous he expects Alicia to do it within a day and a half but there you go! A silly boy who's made a mistake. :p

However, I think you've written it well. It is unnecessary for Thierry but I am eager to read on about it. I want to see how it all pans out, which is good because you've managed to engage your audience!

I think Alicia is quite selfish. I understand why she'd want the whole business to herself but everyone needs a partner. Again, you wrote it extremely well and we understand that she is selfish for wanting all of Jordan & Parsons but she's driven by her career and family so we are able to understand WHY she wants this. Although, I have a feeling it's more because of Albus Potter that she wants the whole thing. She probably just doesn't want to share it with him. :p

Although I did think it was quite ballsy of her to ask Nick to ditch his plans with Molly for her own gain. I understand that she's desperate but she's very focused on herself rather than others. And especially since you've portrayed Nick as a person trying to rectify his mistakes, I think it's extremely unfair for her to ask him to do that. I'm glad he said no, though.

So yeah, Alicia's selfishness was definitely not too subtle but it wasn't glaringly obvious either, which is good. It fits in effortlessly with the story and we aren't distracted by it.

Nick is an interesting character. I would have never thought the son of Dennis Creevey would be a criminal. And it's obvious Alicia is fond of him because he seems like that he is a pretty good (and useful, especially in Alicia's business) friend to have.

What's even better about Nick is that you've made him wanting to change for Molly but he still is willing to commit crimes. And you've also shown that he pays for his crimes and he doesn't get out of jail without any consequences. Which is good.

I think he's popular with your reviewers because he seems quite likeable - even though he IS a criminal. :p He's just really intriguing and I also want to know more about him. Like why was he in jail? What did he do to finally land there? How did he cope in jail? You get my drift.

All in all, this was an excellent chapter. You write very well and I didn't notice any grammar or spelling errors, which is an added bonus!

Anywho, I hope this review was helpful. It was my first time leaving a proper, helpful review so I was a bit nervous typing it, haha!

Feel free to request again! :)

- Kayla :)

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