Hey! I am here for review tag as well as your requested review from my review thread - I hope you don't mind me combining the two!
Before I say anything else, I need to express my shock - ANOTHER DEATH? This seemed like suicide but with the "pressure on her back" thing I don't know if it's murder? This is getting crazy (in a good way for the story)!!
Gushing aside, I think this was a really really good chapter. I liked how you've maintained the consistency of the Black Family here - consistency in the sense of their behaviour/feelings etc. The interaction between Pollux and Orion in the beginning was very fitting - they were so emotionlessly and indifferently talking about the will thinking only about money and reputation and the like, even talking about modifying memories etc., which shows how ruthless the people in the family are - just like they should be. It was written in a very interesting manner too, and I enjoyed reading it. I am also intrigued by these "changes" in the Will. I wonder if we'll know more about them soon.
I also enjoyed the scene with the gathering of the Blacks, inclusive of Walburga's, Bellatrix's , and Narcissa's conversation and Sirius' reaction and thoughts with regards to it all. I find that you've really characterised these characters very well, along the lines of how we've seen them in canon, which is superb. I especially enjoy reading Sirius and Bellatrix, and feel a little sorry for Narcissa. I wonder how all of them shall react to Druella's death.
And of course the final scene of the suicide (murder??) was written very well too. It was neatly and sensitively written, and your descriptions were really beautiful and almost gave me chills imagining the entire scenario. I was in awe, really.
So, I'd say that the plot is coming along very nicely and the suspense is very well-maintained. I have a feeling that this suicide is actually a second murder by maybe the same person? If that is so then I am really curious to know who is this who's killing the members of the Black family one by one? If so, are there going to be any future deaths? I have a half a mind that there will be. So many questions, so much curiosity, ah my mind is somewhat a mess xP
It might be completely wrong and somewhat crazy but I think that the murderer might be a woman looking at the non-violent, almost accidental/natural/suicidal nature of the deaths, and the neatness with which they are done. Of course it's too soon to say and as I said, I may be entirely in the wrong direction, but I just thought I'd share this theory of mine with you and see what you've to say about it xD
In response to your concerns, the plot is solid and I'm loving it. The tension is definitely there, in fact I can almost see it hanging over the Black household - your descriptions are so vivid and awesome - and mystery elements are certainly present throughout. I am more intrigued and curious than ever. As for grammar, nothing out of the ordinary really stood out to me, so I'd say it made for a smooth read. I didn't see any odd commas either so great job. I am afraid I don't have any CC for you!
All in all, another intense and captivating chapter, so keep it up! I am going to read the next chapter very soon too =)
Great work! 10/10
Author's Response: Hey there! So glad to see you stop by - and of course it's not a problem! :) I'm just so happy you're still enjoying this!
Ooh yes, another death! Ah, the ultimate question... death or murder ;)
Gah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it - particularly the stuff about the will! It's something I wasn't hugely sure people would find interesting, since I'm a law student and so find all these sorts of things fascinating :P Orion and Pollux are surprisingly interesting to write, and easier than I thought they would be, but I'm happy you like them! They're all very ruthless, definitely :)
I'm so happy you like my Sirius and Bellatrix - because I know it's not the way they're normally portrayed in fanfiction! I really tried to find individual personalities and traits for each of the ones we don't know so well, so I'm so glad you like them all! Ooh, reactions to the murder... next chapter ;)
Thank you so so much! I was honestly so worried about that ending - I really wasn't sure if it was right and I'm still not overly keen on it, so to hear that you like it and it gave you chills is just amazing! Thank you so much!
This is always so frustrating, because although I love hearing people's theories, I can't say anything in response (generally!)! And I want to ;) There will definitely be more incidents, haha, for lack of a better word. And there is definitely a link between the first and second deaths, but I can't say any more than that or I'll ruin it for you and that would be awful! :P
You know, I honestly never thought of it like that - that the deaths were neat or 'accidental' or anything like that. Huh. Good point, though - nice theory! I really like it! Though, I can't say anything, of course ;)
Yes, no commas! *punches air* :P
Thank you so so much for the wonderful review! It really was so lovely to get, and I read it over and over again, avoiding responding because I really had no idea what to say! :) Thanks!