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Review:patronus_charm says:
Hi, here for the review exchange!

Wow, this first chapter was certainly powerful! I think it was your opening which made it for me because it immediately got me into Mollyís mind-set over what could possibly be going wrong and why the lines between reality and the state of dreaming were blurred. It was beautiful in a way too, and I think Mollyís narration helped with that because it carried a certain amount of ambiguity which reflected her confusion in grief really well. You did a really great job of linking the chapter together like that.

I really liked how Molly used both tenses to describe her sister, and the reluctant use of the past tense was so poignant. I could just tell how much she was gripping onto her sister and really hoping that she would never have to let go of her. Another reason why the range of tenses was really great was because it allowed me to get to know Lucy, and can see why she was such a special person and why Molly would grieve for her so much and I thought that was a really nice touch.

The dialogue was really great in here too. It had a wonderful stilted and painful air to it which was a great recognition of how even though death is the certain thing in the world, people still donít really know how to deal with it. The dialogue was almost really touching too with the way they wanted to reach out to her and help her, especially with her parents, but they just didnít know how.

I think my favourite part was the ending because even though I guessed it might have been Lucy throughout reading this, I wasnít entirely sure. Again, it matched Mollyís thoughts really well of not wanting to let go of her sister and only really openly say her name and her now being gone at the end. It was a really nice touch.

This was such a good start to the story and if time permits Iíll come back for some more! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi

Thanks for the review! This is probably my favourite chapter out of all of them as I think I was able to capture more of that blurred line of what's real and what isn't. It's something that Molly has to deal with in the chapters to come as she isn't quite ready to admit that Lucy is gone. The only person who was truly a rock to her (other than her parents maybe). So, i really wanted to focus on how that threw Molly off and having her confusion reflect in the narrative only made sense to me.

Lucy was massively special to her, but we also are only seeing Molly's rose tinted glasses when looking at who Lucy was. I'm not saying she wasn't all that, but I think people have a tendency to make the people seem better, more brighter than they were in real life. Whatever the case, Lucy's death does crack Molly.

I'm really pleased you connected to the dialogue. It's such a difficult thing to write, especially laden with so much grief. Each of them are experiencing their own grief and are on their own little island of it, reaching out to anyone else is something I think they all would find difficult. I still imagine Percy a little tight laced and showing his emotions and grief aren't something he handles well. So if he were to try and comfort someone else, it doesn't come off as well.

Thank you so much for your review! I hope i can continue reading yours as well! (but again, it's that time thing that makes it difficult!)


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