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Review:sharzamow says:
This story seems so exciting - I was pretty much instantly compelled by the summary, because it sounded poles apart from the usual fanfictions you come across, and it just came across as so original and exciting and, I don't know, fresh? And I totally wasn't disappointed. I admit that I'm a menace about Prologues, in the sense that I'm generally not fond of them, but I thought this was great. Obviously I'm not sure what's going on, but it's really cool, because too often I think we're lumped in with all the information in the first chapter/prologue and this was fantastic because it piqued my interest for the rest of the story, made me determined to find out how Teddy and Victoire had ended up that way, and got me pumped for the chapters to follow, without sort of...overloading with information, I guess? I don't know, it's just pretty exciting to read a story that's already steeped in mystery and that's super intriguing already!

Both Teddy and Victoire have very strong characters already - as in, they both sort of jumped off the page (oop, screen) and formed themselves in my mind without there being any sort of awkwardness in the dialogue. Your writing's really lovely, like it's super sophisticated and it flows so well and it's very nice to read - I mean, it's pretty (that sounds so inadeqate and condescending, eep, I'm sorry - I'm terrible at writing down what I mean!) but it never gets to that stage where it's purple prose-y or overdone, and you write all the action bits fantastically, too!

The only weeny criticims I can make - and they're practically microscopic so I'm sorry if I seem nit-picky, just, I dunno, so you know I suppose? - is that in Victoire's letter to Rob you wrote "though no owl can follow me here", which was probably a typo and ought to be, not really a criticism, because typos pretty much happen all the time. And at one point you jumped from past tense to present - Victoire says "my joints are stiff" while everything else is in past tense so it reads sort of awkwardly, but that was probably just a typo, as well?

But anyways, this was gorgeous and really interesting and I don't know, this entire plot seems so cool and original and I'm basically fascinated by the entire thing. I've never been to Africa, so it'll be fab to read about it from the perspective of a writer who's been there, and it'll be even more fab to see the magical element in this story. Anyways, it's great, and I'm looking forward to all of the other chapters!

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