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Review:navyfail says:
Oh, first day of classes! And she already has detention... poor her. And Professor Penderghast doesn't seem fun. I mean now that I think about it he has 'ghast' in his last name like ghastly which means horrid, lol. And I still ship Al with that camera.

She wants to be a Quidditch player. She should definitely try out. I mean it doesn't hurt to try, right?

Also I noticed a couple things with dialogue:

"Oh, shut it Al." I said, exasperated.

"Fine." I say throwing my hands up.

you feel better." I said.

You see, the quotations can be fixed slightly. Usually when there is dialogue followed by 'he said' or 'she said' or 'she exclaimed' there is a comma beforehand. So it should read like "Oh, shut it Al," I said, exasperated. And "Fine," I say throwing my hands up. And:...you feel better," I said.

Also one more thing:

"father from the library" I think you meant to say 'farther' instead of 'father'.

Anyway, the story is coming along well!! I can't wait to see what's next. "D


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