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Review:academica says:
Hello, here again for the Review Battle!

Oh, poor Harry and Hermione! I really liked the way you depicted Harry's alcoholism in the first part of the chapter. I thought it was very realistic and you did a great job of incorporating his trauma and giving a reason for his incessant drinking. I also liked Hermione's reaction and the way they ended up really needing each other in that moment. If there was one thing I'd suggest about that section, it's to maybe reconsider using caps so much - it was a bit overpowering to read and I have trouble imagining people screaming that many words, haha. You can use italics for a similarly intense effect.

Glad Ron is trying to get the family to do something besides grieve endlessly. I do feel like his intense outburst came a little out of nowhere, so you might want to go back and provide some context for why he chose this particular moment to really put pressure on his family.

Seeing the awkwardness between Harry and Ginny made me so sad. I guess this is set before they and Ron/Hermione get married? Good to know there hasn't been a nasty divorce or affair or anything. I hope Harry can patch things up with Ginny soon and get himself on the road to recovery - I'm sure having friends stay wit him will help with that. I do think it was a bit weird for him to say "control yourself Potter" to himself; it looked a bit like speech for a moment, and I think he would call himself Harry, not Potter. But that's just my opinion.

Good work!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the great review. :)

I'm glad you thought his alcoholism was realistic. I saw from your description of yourself that you know quite a bit about mental illnesses and the such. So it's really nice to get good feedback from you.

You'll be surprised how much people can shout when they really want to. Believe me, I've had the experience. And the reason I didn't want to use italics there was because I use to distinguish between speech and thoughts.

The setting is immediately after the war. I wanted to fill in the gap between the DH and nineteen years later.

Thanks again!

~Erin




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