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Review:bellatrixlestrange123 says:
Hi there!

I'm here to review as part of your winners prize :) OK, so firstly I'm so sorry that this is a tad late (or a bit more than a tad) but life's been hectic hectic hectic so apologies for that :p

Anyyywayy, you mentioned that you wanted this story reviewed the most so i'll try my very best to give you the best review in terms of praise and if needed, some CC.

First and foremost, I really liked the way you opened the chapter (and if I may add, I'm a little envious because I'm terrible at introducing stories). There was a very nice flow to the way you wrote because you wasted no time in setting the scene, which is vital because if the scene isn't set in stone after at most the first half of the chapter, I myself as a reader find myself being slightly put off from reading on because my impatient mind can't take it :P

Also, using Aphrodite in a HP fic?! Brilliant! It's so unorthodox yet it works which is a sign of a great writer - sometimes it can be hard to make different characters from either stories/ myths come to life in other contexts especially something like Harry Potter which doesn't mention much in the books of anything along the lines of Greek mythology all that much. So well done for using your poetic license to your advantage!

Also, I like how you've given Aphrodite a very breezy tone, it suits a character like her that is meant to be beautiful, but surprisingly, doesn't seem to know it herself. She also seems quite immune to the love and attention she receives from men on the account of her beauty and that is 100% expected from her, so it really added more authenticity into the plot for you to write her that way. I also could not help but feel so sorry for Hephaestus! He seemed to lovely and genuine and my heart went out to him :(

Now, I noticed no punctuation or grammar mistakes and the form of the writing was in a way that was easy to read, the paragraphs were as long as they needed to be - which is good! And on top of that, you managed to keep your writing methodical throughout!

The only CC I have is that the writing, at parts seemed a little bit jumpy. I did find myself a bit confused at parts, for example: When Ares spoke of Aphrodite being married to Hephaestus, I did find myself a bit confused and I had to go back and have another read to see if I had missed something. Now, this could just be me being silly and maybe I actually did something about how official their relationship actually was, but maybe you can try and add a few hints to show that Aphrodite actually was married and that could add to the fact she is - almost - openly flirting with Ares.

Other than that, I must say this was a lovely read and I can't wait to go review more of your stuff! I hope I wasn't too blunt or maybe even to harsh, I'm rubbish with CC!

Keep up the great work and once again, congratulations!

Bella x

Author's Response: You're not late at all and wowie! That is one long review! It was unexpected but a pleasant surprise. I'm going to say right now, thank you so much for this long review!

Thank you so much, I'm glad to hear that the beginning was good and that it pulled you in! I agree though, the beginning of the story makes or break the story. I, myself, if I'm not immediately grabbed, I wouldn't want to keep reading said story.

Thank you so much! That is just the biggest compliment that anyone has ever given me. But I'm really glad to hear that the whole Greek mythology thing works with the Harry Potter magic and world. I was hoping that the two wouldn't clash.

The grammar and punctuation errors are all thanks to my lovely beta maraudertimes, she pointed out to me any punctuation mistakes that I missed.

I totally forgot about adding in things to show that Aphrodite and Hephaestus were married. I think I just assumed that everyone knew they were married from Greek Mythology so I didn't bother putting that in. My mistake but I'll definitely go back and add hints here and there if I can.

Thank you so much for your lovely review, I really appreciated it!


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