Eek, new story! It made me very excited to see! This though, this is amazing! There's so many things I love about it.
First of all I have to say something about your characterisation of Peter. Dan, it's perfect! This is the first time I've read Peter as a death eater where I can see some of the character that should be there for him. First of all, you gave him some traits that made me believe completely he should be in Gryffindor. He stands up to Snape even though he's in a bad way. Second, you showed that there was a time he was friends with the other Marauders and he still thinks about them. I can never forgive him for what he did to James and Lily but in here there were little moments when he was calling Snape and hoping James and Sirius would have been proud of that one and stuff and yes. Sorry, reading this just made me excited that someone has written a Peter that fits my head canon of him perfectly.
I like also that you got the rat theme going through this. So when he's furiously thinking through his options, what he should tell and what he shouldn't. I could just imagine him like I did in the books. His eyes darting, thinking of the escape routes. You also make reference to it with him curling up and retreating away. I thought it was very clever.
Staying on theme of characterisation, again I couldn't fault your Snape. The looks in his eyes, the cool exterior and the way he speaks. I think you got him bang on canon. Nothing felt out of place at all.
Next I have to say the plot of the story is fantastic. All the way through I was constantly questioning everything but by the end of the story I understood perfectly. You didn't need the explanation in the AN for me, but I understand if you want to leave it in. I think it's clear what is happening though.
When I was reading this at the start I was questioning Snape's motives, and even when Peter felt he had the upper hand, I wasn't so sure. It seemed to me that Snape had got him exactly where he wanted him, and we later find out this is true. I could tell Snape wanted to get in his memories and my first thoughts was that Snape was trying to get something for the order but I like what you did better. Ingenious. I love how Snape talked Peter round and Peter actually thinks he has the upper hand for a moment, but no. It was just so perfect Dan, I can't even begin to describe.
The ending, hmm, I think Snape may have done this a few times... The fact it comes full circle though, with Snape checking his memory and then getting angry again. Yeah excellent. Poor Peter, goodness knows how he gets through it!
Once again you've amazed me with your fantastic story Dan, I really enjoyed this, it's a great piece of writing! It's definitely going down as a favourite!
Author's Response: Hi, Lauren! Thanks for stopping by.
Whew! I'm really glad you liked what I did with Peter. I agree with you that I don't like a lot of the characterizations of him that I've read -- granted, there aren't many. He's not a very popular character -- in that they make him almost cartoonish in the way that he cowers and fawns and generally acts like he's terrified of everyone. I just can't square that portrayal with the things that he's done. There would have to be more of an inner determination for him to have made the choices he made and sacrificed everything that he threw away when he changed sides.
I tend to think that Peter lived as Scabbers for so long that the mentality would have become very entrenched. It's sort of interesting to compare him with Sirius. In both cases, their lives came to a halt on the night that Peter faked his own death. Sirius went to prison, Peter went into hiding. Both of them were, in a sense, frozen in time at that moment while the real world kept on moving.
You know me. I love writing Snape as long as it doesn't involve anything yucky like having Lily fall in love with him. Around the time I finished reading The Prince's Tale in DH, it dawned on me just how infuriating it must have been to Snape to be ordered to babysit Wormtail. He had to protect the coward who betrayed Lily to Voldemort and caused his deal with Dumbledore to fall apart. So when he had the opportunity to take his revenge, I can't imagine that he wouldn't have. But, he's still Snape. He didn't stay alive for so long by being careless. I'm sure he would have gone to great lengths to make sure that there was no evidence for Voldemort to find, including inside Wormtail's head.
Yes, I could definitely see Snape doing this more than once. The way I think of Snape, the moment that Lily died ended life as he knew it. He lives in that moment and he always will. So given the opportunity to relive that moment in Wormtail's memories, there isn't really a choice. It isn't that he *wants* to see those things again and again, I just don't think he can help himself. That is the moment he lives in. Thus, the cycle repeats itself.
I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. It was fun to write in places, and rewarding to see it complete. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!