Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:academica says:
Hey Pix, here for our Review Exchange!

Wow, Wren's situation is really sad. It's interesting how the plight of Frank and Alice continued to haunt the Longbottom family several generations later. I loved hearing about how Gran tried to help save them, though her story was quite sad as well. And it seems like Neville has gotten a little paranoid after the war, too, with all his security - thought it makes sense. Very interesting and thoughtful character development.

I also felt like your characterization of the kids was really realistic. I liked how rambunctious James and Albus were, and how Wren really wanted to prolong her last few hours at the house and avoid having to make a change. I actually remember moving from an apartment to a house as a kid and wondering who was going to put peanuts out for the squirrels in the winter, so I can totally relate to her feelings in that moment! I felt like you did the emotion here really well. I think it was very realistic for a young girl being forced to leave home and leave behind the things she loves without having any control over the situation.

Hmm, so the light wasn't just a trick of her imagination... I was starting to imagine that she was somewhat like Luna for a moment, so to see her fear come to fruition made for a startling ending. I wonder if the light will accompany Wren to her new home.

Really nice start; you've taken a fairly mundane scenario and made it really intriguing with your lovely characterization and nice detail work.

Let me know if you want to keep swapping back and forth on chapters until the end of the month, or if you'd prefer to stick to a one-chapter exchange. Either scenario is fine with me :)

-Amanda

Author's Response:

Hi there! I should probably get on with responding to these lovely reviews! They just looked too shiny to touch. I just had to let them sit around and glow for a while.

Yes, Wren's situation is sad. I hope I didn't make the chapter too melancholy. These things need balance, and I didn't want the whole thing to sound too despondent and depressed.

I'm really glad you liked the kids. They kind of lighten the mood, while showing how Wren is connected to everyone around her. And yes, the light wasn't just a trick. That would have been too easy. Look, a light! No, it's not really there, never mind. But wait! There it is. Again! Yeah, that's more punchy. :)

Thanks for the lovely review on my first chapter! It feels good to know that my main character is relatable and the emotions came through. I always love hearing your thoughts!

Pix


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 770
Submit Report: