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Review:Pixileanin says:
I felt Regulus' hesitation, the cold, the feeling of anticipated dread when he was outside that door. His hesitation was only delaying the inevitable. I didn't get the impression that he was considering NOT doing what he had come to do, but rather that he was zoning out, trying not to think about it, and just running on automatic.

The contrasts you used to highlight the dark tone were well done. You took the effort to tell us that the door was wooden and heavy, and immediately showed us that Bellatrix opened it without effort, using her wand. It symbolized for me how Regulus was struggling with his place, and Bellatrix had obviously embraced the situation with ease.

It was nice to see the thoughts Regulus had about the people in the room. I loved that you included Dolohov in the scene too. We don't get to see him often, so I appreciated that you chose to use him for this chapter. I hope I get to see more of him. He's an interesting character to me. It makes sense that the Dark Lord would send someone to initiate his members for him. It keeps his presence more of a mystery.

I think you did a great job with the darkness of the tone. The only thing I can think of to tell you is that dark stories come from the dark content. You had that here. I've seen a lot of attempts to write "dark", where all the author does is merely use heavy descriptors and depressing environments, but that's not what makes the story dark, you know. The fear of the unknown, (or the fear of failure, in this case), the horrible things that Regulus had to endure to get to this point, the death of the muggle girl and how that affected him, and then still wanting to go through with what is sure to be a horrible ordeal... all that brought out the dark. Your descriptions enhanced the dark feel of the story, which is what they're supposed to do. If you keep writing this way for this story, letting the dark content lead the way, you're not going to have to worry about writing "dark" at all. I think you've got this!

I can't think of anything else to comment on. This chapter's been up for a while, and it's squeaky clean, as far as I can see.

Lovely (in a dark, horrific way) first chapter!

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