Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:marauderfan says:
Here with your requested review!

I love love love Founders Era. It's definitely much less common to find in fanfiction, so it's always exciting to see Founders stories!

Your description and the way you've set the tone for this story is really excellent. Your detail is very specific - like the things you choose to describe really set the tone. This line The dying red flames cast their last feeble dance against the Kingís stiff face. -- really good. Not only is it easy to visualise but also highlights the dark things - the very stern king, and a fire, it just brings out the sense of death and futility that pervades the whole chapter. Really neat how you did that. :)

Good job with the historical setting too, mentioning invasions of the Saxons. I can tell you did your research! ;)

I liked the end, how Gryffindor ends up on the doorstep of Slytherin as it hints at why the two of them became such good friends! The description in this section was good too - it was easy to visualise the woman walking in the snow and feel the cold.

As for characterisation - well, there's not much to work with. The king sounds like someone not to be messed with, and it sounds like his companion is a Seer, possibly. Other than that, this prologue mainly just raised a lot of questions. What is so important about Gryffindor's mother? Who is the king and what does he want with her? What on earth is going on in the beginning? But that's a good thing - prologues are really supposed to raise questions, just enough to intrigue you and then they get you to keep reading! So, I would say that yes, the story is definitely engaging enough.

I don't know how helpful my review is - there's not much CC I can give as prologues are generally less straightforward and often meant to be mysterious! I suppose it'd be nice to have an idea of who the woman was in the beginning, just to have a starting point as the reader, but it's not necessary. This is a great start t your story though - feel free to re-request!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I wrote and re-wrote the Prologue a few times, because I wasn't sure which part of the story I wanted to show first. Do I start at the end and go back? Do I start in the middle, and work my way back and then forward? So, in the end I decided for the simple solution: to start at the very beginning and go from there. I know it is short, but was supposed to be the idea.

I am incredibly happy that you liked it, especially the fact that you said that it raised questions, but in a good way. That was basically what I was going for: short and not precise :D


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 242
Submit Report: