Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:MargaretLane says:
Yay, new chapter of Albus Potter and Slytherin's Office. And the chapter title is intriguing. Hmm. *goes to read*

Love your first paragraph. You really capture the emotions they are feeling, particularly Albus.

This is really, really nit-picky, but one thing I would say is there are a couple of places in it where you could replace the names with pronouns. Like you've already said David and Art lost the Invisibility Cloak, so you could just say Albus was angry with them rather than using their names again. As I said, REALLY nit-picky, but the paragraph is so emotional and powerful and I feel using their names again just slows it down that bit.

*laughs* I think you hinted at this part in a review to my stories - about James being unwilling to help them. I think he might help get the Invisibility Cloak back though, because he would want to be able to use it himself.

*laughs at Albus figuring out James would be in the kitchen* How typical of him!

And I love the planning they are doing. Plastering Trelawney's wall with itching powder and replacing her crystal balls with pumpkins are exactly the kind of things I could imagine James doing. I'd love to see some of his pranks actually.

Master Shafiq?

So THAT'S why Albus was eavesdropping. I couldn't figure out why he wanted to know what James was planning, though I should have guessed. It's so OBVIOUS now that it's been explained.

Aw, poor Albus. I mean I think it's good he doesn't like blackmailing people, but the part about not being used to standing up to James gives me sympathy for him.

I really like the indication Albus trusts Rose more than Art and David. It makes sense as they've known each other all their lives, whereas he's only known the others a few months. It makes sense he'd want to confide in her.

That mission went fairly well. I was expecting Filch to appear or something. Thought Art might have to distract him or that he might shout at them that Filch was on his way back and they'd have to rush things.

I like the mention of the kitchens being better known now than in Harry's time, because of course, things would have changed. The wizarding world seems to change fairly slowly, but still, everything is not going to remain the same. And I like the way Albus refers to "his father's time" as if it's the Dark Ages or something (or rather the Golden Art of Art and Learning as the same period was over here; Ireland likes to be different, it seems). It makes sense. After all, it happened before he was even born.

*laughs at the idea of Albus being able to use Snape's ability because he has his middle name*

And yeah, I can definitely see why they wouldn't want any of their cousins involved and if Hermione could brew the Polyjuice potion in 2nd year, I reckon Albus can do it.

And guess what: it is the 12th of January, so Happy Birthday Albus! *grins* Weird his birthday is around the same time in both our stories. I mean it's the 8th of December in mine, but that's only a month earlier.

And you know what I was thinking recently? I'd love to see Flitwick's reaction at the end of this story when he realises he's unwittingly been helping a Dark Wizard in his attempt to kill a couple of his students. You might already have planned to show that, but if it isn't shown in this, I'd love to see a one-shot about it or something. Although I'm sure you've enough to write with this whole series, without writing stuff just 'cause I want to see it. It would be interesting though. I mean, how horrific a realisation must that be?!

This is one of your better chapters, I think. Really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: You have a good point. I'm kind of paranoid when it comes to pronouns, because I used to say "they" all the time for papers and such, and my mom would be ask me who are "they"? But you're right, repeating Art and David that many times is a bit overkill.

Yeah, I did hint at that part. I did it knowing that you would read it in just a few weeks.

James's pranks are brilliant. Unfortunately, you won't see most of them for a long time.

Shafiq is the last name of James's best friend John. I should probably clarify that. Even though I'm sure I've mentioned it once or twice, but it's probably hard to remember things from multiple chapters ago.

I like having the reader not knowing what Albus is doing until he does it, even though it is from his point of view. I'm picky on what thoughts of Albus's you get to see. *evil grin*

For several chapters, Albus trusted them all completely, and I realized he shouldn't trust them that fast.

The mission did go well. Every once in a while, plans do go right. Not every plan or story has to be complicated.

Yeah, the same thing is happening with the Room of Requirement; it's become too well-known, since it was used by just about everyone in the Battle of Hogwarts and all. That's going to cause some problems for Albus.

Yeah, everything that happened to Harry are just stories to Albus. To him, it seems like a long long time ago (in a galaxy far far away... Sorry, Star Wars reference).

Albus doesn't have a lot of confident, but he does have a point. That potion is HARD.

I didn't think Chapter 19 would be up this fast! I submitted it to the queue last night right before I went to bed, and I saw the email that it was validated right after I woke up this morning. So, Happy Birthday Albus!

Yeah, I don't think anybody wants to wake up from a seemingly deep sleep and find out that you've done terrible things. Not ideal...

I don't think I'm going to write a one-shot. What I really want to do is write a novel or novella about Zajecfer's childhood, but that would be massive spoilers for the Albus Potter series. So I'd have to wait on that. *sighs*

Thank you for reviewing! You always leave AWESOME reviews. :)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 666
Submit Report: