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Review:ReeBee says:
Ooh! I'm interested! :) Great job! First of all, eugh! I wanted to get first review! :P But, Rumpel got it! :P Just kidding! ;)

Plot: I like the fact that it was really really smooth, yet you still introduced the actual plot in this chapter :) It was very impressive! Have u written before? Hm, plot itself was super interesting too! Great job with that!

Characterisation: Clear; you could very clearly see what type of character Augusta was! So, amazing job with that! And Duncan, LOVE HIM ALREADY! :D I like that you're using an OC as the romantic interest, instead of an 'available' canon character :)

Description: well controlled and well used. It annoys me when people don't use description to control plot flow, and I'm glad to say that u did that well! The description was just the right size; not too long that it's boring, or not too short that its too abrupt :)

Grammar/Syntax: none that I could pick up. Only CC I have is to watch the american english seeping through :) One that really stood out was 'mom' instead, use 'mum'. :D If u have continued doubt with britpicking, may I recommend a quick, single chapter beta?

Other than that, it was awesome! You have a great start and a very stable base. Fantabulous!

-ReeBee :)

Author's Response: Thanks! (: Yes, I have written before actually. I've been writing fanfiction for several years, but I just now started writing Harry Potter fan fiction, so it's a bit new.
Thanks again!


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