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Review:academica says:
Hey Zayne! I just realized you don't have any reviews on this new chapter, and I had to change that :) I'm excited to see this story resurrected!

I really love your portrayal of grief here. I lost my dad just over three years ago and I can distinctly remember wanting to be alone and being so irritated by people constantly asking if I was okay. I just wanted to cry and grieve in my own way, and I felt like no one really understood my pain except me. So it's totally believable that Molly would want to escape all that and not see anyone, including the people who would identity with her feelings the most, because she doesn't want to face all that is happening to her.

This bit of imagery is gorgeous: It burns itself into my retinas and carves its way into my frontal lobe. It really strikes me as painful, which I know is the emotion that you're trying to communicate with Molly here.

I can tell, though, that Molly's pain is moving beyond typical grief and into something a bit more sinister. She's quite jumpy and clearly she's behaving a little strangely in the eyes of everyone around her. I have to wonder how long it will be before they stop passing it off as her grieving process and begin to worry about her.

Hmm, I wonder why the Ministry has come to visit? Just to express their condolences to the family? Guess I'll have to wait until the next chapter.

One teensy thing - I think you mean 'formerly' rather than 'formally' in your Author's Note :)

Nice work!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey Amanda!!! Thanks for coming and reviewing!! I'm really excited to write this story again. It's been far too long and it was definitely time to dust it off.

Thanks. That is huge, i'm sorry about your dad and i'm overwhelmed that you think I was able to capture that moment realistically. I wrote these moments after a funeral I attended back then, so I was trying to get some of what I was thinking and what others around me were thinking. It wasn't someone super close to me, but close enough that you can understand the grief of wanting to be alone or seeing how everyone sort of tried to help one another but were really on their own island of grief. I'm really overwhelmed though that you think i pulled it off because there is something about grief that is hard to fully write about without making it sound contrived.

Yah, she's definitely losing her grasp on reality. There is a lot of repetition here and darkness (or as you say how it feels sinister) that doesn't help Molly accept that it's actually happened. I'm glad you felt that underlying the story as it does sort of tag the story a little bit as it continues.

Thank you so much for your review!! I always appreciate you coming and reviewing this story as you always have something thoughtful to say!

zayne


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