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Review:patronus_charm says:
Hey, here for the 12 days of reviewing!

I liked the sound of Charlie as itís unusual to follow a Slytherin character so I can already see your own ideas coming through here rather than it being a usual Albus/OC story. I also really liked how motivated and driven she was to do well on the team, because not only did this tie into her house, it was in a positive way too which was a nice spin on the usual Slytherins are evil thing :P

I loved how Scorpius and Oliviaís speech about them needing to date mimicked the others in a way as it made me laugh. I have a feeling that they may have set up Albus and Charlie and I wonder how that will go down with the other. I found it funny that Charlie was considered to be out of Albusí league by Scorpius though because itís usually the other way round, so again, it was a nice touch.

The tension about the game was really palpable and I have a feeling that this might define Albus and Charlieís relationship though I canít say whether that would be a good thing or not :P I hope it is, because they both seem really sweet and I can see that they have similarities such as stubbornness and liking Quidditch.

I would perhaps give this chapter one more read through because there were a few cases of missing out words and minor typos, but other than that, it was a good start to the story!


Author's Response: I'm glad you feel that way about Charlie. I don't want her to be evil, because Slytherin's description is "cunning" not "evil" so I'm trying to break that cliche with this story.

I may be a girl, but from what I can tell, boy's friendships are usually one ragging on the other, so I think that's what Scorp was doing when he said that Charlie was out of Al's league. :P

Thanks for letting me know about the typos and stuff! I'll have to get on that pretty quick.

Thanks for the review! :D

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