Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Remus says:
Heya! Perelandra here from the forums! Sorry for taking a while to get here and give you your review but life, you know. However, I'm here to give you what you asked for! :)

I have to be completely honest here, I was a bit hesitant to read this. Lily and Remus is not a pairing I dwell into. Sirius and Lily, maybe, but Remus? O.o However, I gave it a chance.

I'm not entirely a fan but I liked your story and take nonetheless. Lily was not the Lily I'm used to reading. She's more, mean? Horrible? Cruel? I can't think of the proper word to describe her! Detached? Full of flaws? Help me? Hahaha!

I couldn't help but to feel mad at her! She toyed with Remus's emotions and if James had found out that these two had been an "item" he would've 1) backed off 2) not have dated Lily. He's his friend, his brother, and James would never hurt Remus like that. Haha see what you've done there? Haha, got me all riled up!

I couldn't be mad at James here, he didn't know any better, but Lily...

I absolutely loved the whole "stabbing" thing. That was beautifully handled. I think, in the whole story, my favorite line is:

All this time with Lily. All this time she must have known that James the one, not him. He will fade into oblivion. Instead of Lily being a phase of James's, he is a phase of hers.

Speaking of that line, you missed the word "was" after James. You have a few grammar issues but it wasn't too big of a deal. A few read through will fix those up. Everyone's guilty of those! XD

I liked that line a lot because it shows that love is painful, and can sometimes deceive you into thinking things that are not true. Perhaps Remus put Lily on this pedestal and sort of worshiped her until his world came crumbling down.

Overall this was a great fic.

My CC on it would be the grammar and typo issues that you have around the story.

Thank you for letting me read this!!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi Rosie! I have to admit I was a bit worried about giving this one-shot to you because I know some people are a bit torn about Remus and Lily and whether they like it or not, but in the end I had to give in because all my other one-shots had a ton of feedback and this one didn't have as much, so it's great to hear that you liked it though!

Bahaha, I think that's the reason why I had a little too much fun writing this story because exploring the more 'evil' side to Lily was a definite change to the usual side to her, but then trying to figure out how to make her like that but believable was rather fun again.

I know what you mean about James, because deep down he would have done the right thing and stood back but Remus was too much of a good friend to break James' heart and didn't want to tell him and I'm fairly sure that Lily probably had a part in that too. I'm sorry I got you riled up though!

I'm so glad that you liked the stabbing part because it was a new thing for me but it was quite fun showing his pain in that way. As for that line, I think I have to agree with you about Remus putting Lily on a pedestal and worshipping her, hence him not realising that she and James were together until it was all too late!

Thanks for pointing that out, I'll go and fix and the other issues too. There I was thinking that they were all gone :p

Thanks for such a great review, Rosie!

-Kiana


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 189
Submit Report: