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Review:peppersweet says:
Sarah! I've been meaning to read this for a while now, but today I'm here as part of the 12 days of reviewing challenge.

I liked this opening chapter, especially the first line: Helene could not separate the cigarette smoke from her own breath that hung before her. Every breath expelled a curling ghostly mass. The writing was beautiful, and those first few passages about Helene smoking in the early morning outdoors were very atmospheric. If I have one criticism, it's that this chapter felt sliiightly too info-heavy - some of the characterisation we got of Helene could be left for later chapters, or just shown through her actions. When I think up a story, the first thing I want to do is launch into all the complex character and plot info I've just thought up, but I think it's more important for readers to be thrown straight into the action. So I came up with the compromise of writing the info dump first, then shelving that chapter and writing an alternate 'action' opening that presumes readers just know who my characters are already. I mean, I don't think that reflects in my plodding writing, but, well, I try. I love Helene's character (she seems like a bit of a BBC Sherlock) and I'm intrigued to see how she comes into contact with the Marauders. Will she treat Remus? Will he melt her heart of ice? Ah, only time will tell.

Great opening, though, Sarah! Looking forward to reading the next chapter when you post it (and I promise to catch up with KC&CO soon!) ♥

Author's Response: JUUULIIIAAA (this requires more than the allotted four-character-count.)

Why thank you! I admit this kind of writing comes a bit more naturally to me... any excuse to throw in way too much imagery, really.

That's a very helpful suggestion about the first chapter info-dump. I'm guilty of doing that (especially in KC&CO, ack!), mostly because I get so excited to update that I turbo-write one chapter and immediately throw it in the queue. I really like your suggestion though, about writing the alternate action chapter... That's definitely something I'll keep in mind for my next OF project.

Hehe, I've never seen Sherlock (BBC or otherwise) but that's a cool--and pretty flattering--comparison!

Thanks so much for taking the time to review! I hope your Holiday went well ♥


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