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Review:ReeBee says:
Hi there! RAVENCLAW REVIEW BATTLE!! Whoo!

Great job with this! I really really liked this! So here are my comments!

Characterisation: spot on! Amazing! I quite liked Hannah. Even though it was hard to imagine Hannah as bitter as she was, it was believable that she'd changed during the war :) but, I do think that the fact that she was bitter due to their fame was a bit out of character. But, Neville was perfect! Ah! He was just perfect! His personality! Ah! That's all I can say!

Description: really well done! I can't think of any of the top of my head, but, the softness of the description was totally amazingly suited to the story! :D there wasn't much you could improve with description :)

Grammar/Syntax: nothing! Amazing! I picked up on no typos and/or grammar errors! And most of all, I picked up on no missing commas! They're my pet peeves when not used properly (I may be hypocritical!)

Plot/Flow: Really well handled! The description was perfectly used to control plot flow! And the description was used in perfect amounts! The only CC I have is more description at the end? The bit with Hannah's thoughts about Neville? The last paragraph? Taft could have used a bit more description to even it out when compared to the other parts of the story :)

I really enjoyed this! Congrats! Amazing!! :D fantabulous work! I love your writing style! Absolutely gorgeous! :D

-ReeBee

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for your ever-so-enthusiastic review!! :D

Spot on? Really?! You're too kind! Yeah, Hannah is quite bitter, but I do think that losing her mother would have had an adverse effect on her. I'm definitely going to revisit this story and see if I can fix characterization so that it can be totally awesome the whole time. Thanks for the suggestion about the fame thing! I WILL keep that in mind!

Neville=love. Aaahhh right back at you! :D

Awww, thanks thanks thanks!! Oh yes, bad grammar is my biggest pet peeve. It hurts my eyes, so I try to make my stories as grammatically correct as possible. :)

I'm so happy that you thought the plot flow was good! I totally agree with your suggestion--towards the end of this story, I got antsy because I had to get it into the queue, so I didn't do it justice, I'm afraid. It will be fixed!

Thanks again for being awesome and reviewing my story! :D

~UnluckyStar57


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