|Review:||nott theodore says:|
Hello again, lovely!
This was another great chapter! I really like the way that this story is developing, and I think that you've paced it really well. There are definite changes in the characters in each chapter, and you don't have to tell us explicitly that time is passing with each one.
First, I have to talk about Sirius... I don't think that I've ever read a more adorable version of him! I love the character that you captured here, a young boy (I think he'd be about first year here, if I'm right?) who plays up his confidence and outgoing nature in front of his friends and most of his family, but who can't help being insecure and scared about what's going to happen to him when he goes home. I was really happy that Andromeda tried her best to reassure him and promised to look after him. It's really horrible to think that a boy who's so young should have to worry about his parents punishing him for something that isn't really even his choice. I loved seeing him and James together and I thought you wrote them really well. It made me smile a lot!
You also got Andromeda and Ted's plan to escape just right, I think. I could tell from the beginning that they were planning something, and Andromeda's thoughts at the beginning of the chapter felt right for what she was planning to do. It wasn't exactly that she was doubting what she was about to do, because it felt like she'd already made up her mind, but there was definite regret as she thought about Narcissa. I think that in a way, the fact that Bella had already gone down the wrong path might have helped her decision because she knew there was nothing she could do - and Narcissa has clearly chosen to stick with Lucius, no matter what he does in the future. The characters here are much more like the ones that we see in the books and I really like the way you've developed them through this story in a way that's actually really subtle - you haven't shown really obvious changes or made it blatant, despite the fact each chapter skips forward in time.
Ted and Andromeda are so cute together! I love the way that you wrote their escape plan and the fact that Ted's parents are so welcoming and accommodating for the two of them. It really highlights the differences between the Black family and the Tonks family, and the way that prejudices can affect them. Even though Andromeda does seem to regret the way she'll leave her family and not be in touch with them in the future, there's definite hope and some excitement here for her future with Ted, away from all of the prejudice in her family. I'm glad that she will at least get a few years of happiness, even if her life isn't the easiest one!
Author's Response: Hi Sian!
I'm glad that you liked the overall structure and pacing of the story. This was my first short story collection so it was rather odd trying to make a story yet each chapter wasn't explicitly allowed to relate to the previous, so I'm so glad that you found it worked.
Aw, thank you! Yes, he is a first year, so I'm glad that you managed to realise that :P It was rather fun showing both the sides of Sirius, because though he and James were very close at this stage, he obviously felt that his family life was too twisted it to be revealed to anyone but the people who already knew about it. I know what you mean about his youth and innocence, to have an 11 year old worry whether his parents will bully him for his house choice is so sad, if only he and James could just play around all day it would have been fine!
Haha, I'm glad that you liked the mini bits of foreshadowing earlier on in the chapter, because it sorts of reflects what Sirius does later on. I'm glad that you picked up on her thoughts about her sister as you're the first to do so, so I'm glad that someone did :P I think the Black sisters are so interesting for exactly those reasons pointed out, they were raised the same way with the same parents but all three of them turned out so differently to the others and I really wanted to show that difference in Andromeda's thoughts.
Yes, I didn't realise how much I loved the pairing before writing this because they really are so romantic with being so in love that Andromeda defies her family for him :P Haha, yes you're definitely right with the limited years of happiness, because the Black family never seems to have a lot of that stuff around. Unfortunately, as you already know, this is the last 'happy' chapter, but it was nice to explore a calmer year for the two of them.
Thanks for such an amazing review, Sian! ♥