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Review:AlexFan says:
Hey there, I'm here for the 12 Days of Reviewing.

I remember when I first started reading this story way back when when you started it and deciding to stick around and see what would happen. When I think to some of your chapters in the last half of the story, I see the difference between your writing now and then. You've definitely improved.

One thing that I have noticed while reading through this again is that you have a tendency to switch from past tense to present tense and then back again. In one sentence you'll use words like "were" and "said" and then in another you use words like "is." It's just something that you might want to fix if you ever go back and decide to do some editing.

I also think that the story could benefit from more description because there was a great deal of dialogue but I couldn't really picture the setting and what everything looked like in my head.

But other than that, great first chapter!

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