For the 6th day of 12 Days of Reviewing.
Teh! I had meant to check out this story for a while now, so I'm glad this challenge has given me the opportunity to do so!
This is such an original idea. I love seeing this period of the war from a different perspective other than the Golden Trio's (I believe they were camping at the time, anyway) and what a cool part of the war to focus on. The descriptions of how creepy the Ministry got what with their spying on people's conversations gave the chapter a very 1984-esque feel (and that's a huge compliment, btw. 1984 is one of my favourite novels). I laughed at the part about the ladies gossiping though! Of course, the Ministry can't always pick up relevant things.
I could really identify with Ettie's hatred of her job. I've had a dull job like that too once - so I could really sympathise haha. You wrote her so well - I can see that although the job is dull and she is a little embarrassed about how she got the job, she is still very glad to have it.
I loved the appearance of Cho in here. This is exactly how I would imagine her to be after leaving Hogwarts - kind of trying to escape the wizarding world, still not over Cedric - and when she sees Marietta she's still kind of blaming her for being the reason Harry split up with Cho. And the end - ugh. That's awful... but not surprising. Poor Ettie :(
By the way, that's another strength you have as a writer. I don't even like Marietta, but you're able to write her as a wonderful protagonist and I'm really cheering for her! Mainly that she'll open her eyes and stand up for herself, but eh. Nice touch adding the bit about the SNEAK curse Hermione put on her. It was a little amusing in OotP, but here it's quite sad, as Ettie still has to deal with it and Hermione probably doesn't think about it at all anymore!
And Reg! Haha, I remember you commenting on my Reg fic that he was a bit of an idiot in yours, and yeah he does seem to be quite the bumbling and nervous guy. But I think that's partly because Marietta is intimidating. I mean, her mum is on the Muggle born Registration Commission, and Marietta herself is a rather forward and no-nonsense person, so I think you wrote Reg really well in character, especially considering who he's interacting with. Anyway, I liked that he showed up here. (one thing though, you refer to him as Reg before he actually introduces himself - it says Reg shifted from foot to foot, but then he tells her his name two paragraphs later, so maybe that should just say "the man" or something.)
Overall this is a wonderful chapter and I will favourite the story and definitely come back to read the rest! Lovely work teh :)
Author's Response: Kristin!! ♥
Waah, thank you for this amazing review, and for giving my first completed chaptered fic some love!! Your comments really made my day ^.^
I'm glad you thought this was an original idea. I was a bit worried that most people wouldn't be interested in reading about Hogwarts Era fics, which cover events that we've already read from the books. So your review is really reassuring. And yeah, the Ministry under Voldemort's regime has become quite sinister - despite the ridiculousness of the Floo transcripts, the raining offices and all, there still is a war going on after all, and the Ministry has been overrun by the enemy. I'm glad you found them creepy, despite the daftness of some situations.
YOu had a job like that? I feel for you :( :( I did a linguistics course in uni which involved analysing people's conversational transcripts...so I had to read scripts and listen to recorded conversations about dinner plans and grocery lists and every other banal boring thing.
I'm glad you like Cho's appearance. I have a lot of plunnies about her, but she doesn't reappear in this story; still, her presence is important to Ettie.
Bahahaha! Reg! I was more than a little mean to him...at least I made Ettie rather mean to him. Because I do like writing mean characters sometimes.
Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH for picking up that horrible, horrible continuity error! I wrote the whole three chapters and left them alone for many weeks before I got down to editing, swapping parts of the story around, and there were quite a lot of plot holes and errors here and there. I thought I'd cleaned most of them up, but clearly I have more work to do! :P Thank you for that!!
Gah, thank you so much for favouriting this, Kristin! ♥ ♥ I hope you continue to enjoy this story! *hugs*