Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:BookDinosaur says:
Hello! I'm here for the Fifth of the Twelve Days of Reviewing Challenge over at the forums. :)

I really enjoyed reading this little oneshot, I found it really interesting that your story was made up almost completely of OCs and the only mention to JK's world was Hogwarts and a sentence or two that told us about the Golden trio and the Weasley brothers, but this was almost all made up of OCs.

I really liked Mathilda's humiliation from Third Year, that poem is much better tha what I could make up at thirteen and what Snape did to her was just so Snape and so in canon I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Snape is so awful to kids, you have to wonder what made him so bitter.

I really liked those couple of sentences you used to link us back to the Golden Trio and the Weasleys, like how Mathilda was just watching the enchanted snowballs bounce on Qurrell's head over and over, or how she was at the station and saw the Trio there as well, with the two boys saying goodbye to Hermione. It kept us grounded and helped to establish a time and atmosphere for the story, which was good.

I liked your characterisation of Mathilda as well, although if anything I would have liked a bit more of her backstory - why do her grandparents dislike her? Why does she like Ethan, apart from his looks? Why is she such an antusocial person overall? It just would have been nice to know some her reasons for acting like she does.

Also, I'm sorry but I feel like the ending is a little rushed for my taste. This is probably just me being fussy, but I didn't really see anything that showed Ethan liked her. I mean sure there was that Valentine but overall on Christmas they spent one day together, had some fun together, and then they decide to make out? It doesn't seem right. But that's probably just me. :)

All in all, I enjoyed reading this oneshot and I'm glad I had the chance to. Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. The one-shot was really to give me something to do during my free period at school, and I carried on in the evening, so I didn't spend as long on it as I normally would. I will probably come back and develop the story a bit more later when I finish my current story-Love? Or Hate?-so I will hopefully answer your questions then.
Thanks again for the review, as I love hearing ways in which I could improve my writing. :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 835
Submit Report: