I'm collecting my thoughts right now, but none seem to spring to the forefront of my mind except, "This is beautiful and beautiful and beautiful." Rather unspectacular and helpful, I know, but that's the only word I can think to describe this one-shot. Romanticizing depression and the like is a really unhealthy thing to do, but when I say this is beautiful and poetic, I really mean it.
To start off, your diction and choice of words is everything I've ever wanted and more. I had to collect myself when you used 'flotsam' because it's not used enough in writing and gave me fond memories of Neopets, which is really strange but also invoked that warm fuzzy feeling I get when I think of childhood. That feeling didn't stay for the rest of the one-shot though. Freddie's utter emotion, and also lack of emotion, is captured so well within your writing. I could relate to Freddie, not in the extremities that he pursues, but more a hopelessness prevalent in youth. One of the best feelings about this is the choice of third person narration. First person is mostly limited to describing a plot and moving things forward, but third person is the perfect fit for a broader topic like a feeling, such as Freddie's depression. I suppose it also gives a bit leeway to use more dramatic language. :P
The descriptions are the most vivid I've read in a while, honestly. I could picture every scene and every object with clarity, but at the same time, there was just enough to let the reader fill in the blanks. Ocean imagery is my favorite thing to read (scratch that- anything about the ocean), and even though the imagery used here isn't about something beautiful, the words are. I'm particularly in love with this line:
'It came in like the tide, and it crested and caught and crashed and before his head broke the surface - he'd been swept out to sea.'
The comparisons to the whale's blowhole was also every synonym of beautiful out there.
And to end this long-winding review where I mostly talked about word choice and used 'beautiful' too much to describe this one-shot (but honestly it is), I'll just say this will not be the last time I read this story.
Author's Response: Hello! Aah, I can't believe it took me so long to respond to this lovely lovely review. I am every definition of the word trash.
Thank you so much for your kind words. This was quite a hard piece to write, so I really appreciate all the feedback it's got! I'm a bit overwhelmed by it, actually, everyone's been so nice. Thank you for saying it was poetic - that pleased me to hear, haha!!
Omg, I totally forgot about flotsam/neopets?! How could I! Aah, now all the neopet memories are flooding back, haha. But I am sorry that the feeling of neopet nostalgia didn't remain - I feel I'm going to have to write something extra fluffy to make up for all these sads...
Thank you thank you thank you for this review!! ♥ ♥ ♥