Tagging you from Review Tag!
This was a great opening chapter! You set a really great scene, you gave us some background on how Regulus came to be where he is and you got the plot moving. Also, you didn't bog it down with a lot of unnecessary back story. Since we already know who all the major players are, this was a great way to launch the reader right into the meat of the story.
I liked all of the references to Regulus's upbringing and his father's, er, sage wisdom. It sounded exactly like I imagine a childhood in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. By which I mean, Orion filled his head full of self-important, pureblood supremacist nonsense.
No, he thought, you donít have time to be afraid. Fear is not allowed. -- Yep, that's the House of Black for you. Fear is a weakness, even when any sane person would be terrified.
Bellatrix! I love what you've done with her! If I was going to nit-pick you for anything, I guess it would be following the book description of her a little too rigidly, what with the heavily-lidded eyes and all, but you still made her intense and frightening. The air of menace and barely-contained insanity she projects in this is awesome. And the way that she seems to revel in Regulus's suffering and unease... perfectly characterized. Bellatrix doesn't know allies, only her master and the unworthy servants who keep letting him down.
I think my other favorite part of the chapter was what you did with Narcissa. She seems almost horrified by what she's witnessing. It's pretty obvious that she's only present because of her husband and sister, that she doesn't want to be there. I never thought of her as the type who could take joy in the suffering of others like Bellatrix and Lucius.
The murder of the muggle woman as "training" was also a nice touch. I'm pretty sure that becoming a Death Eater would necessarily involve committing murder. It's the ultimate renouncement of any chance of ever being able to be "normal" again.
The back-and-forth between Dolohov and Lucius was also really well done. It's always fun to see Lucius get put in his place. Money aside, he never seemed to be cut from the same cloth as cold-blooded killers like Dolohov and Bellatrix. He's mostly just a poseur Death Eater. I'm wondering whether you've ever read a fic with the concept of the "First Five", aka Dolohov, Rookwood, Nott Sr, Goyle Sr and Avery Sr. That would fit really well with your narative here.
Great job with this! I'm really curious to see how Regulus's change of heart plays out in your story!
Author's Response: Hey there!
Oh, I'm really glad you thought this was a good opening chapter. Though I tend to use third person in one-shots, this was my first third person novel, and my first time writing something so dark, so it's been a journey so ffar!
I really enjoyed writing the scene between Dolohov and Lucius, as it was a lot of fun exploring their characters - especially as we do not know a lot about Dolohov or any of the older Death Eater's, really, from the HP books.
Thanks for the review!