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Review:Cavell says:
Hi there! It's Raine from the forums with your requested review :) Now, when I saw your request I wasn't sure if you just wanted me to review the first chapter or read the whole story and review your most current chapter, but since I usually only read and review one chapter for requests, that's what I'm doing now -- if you meant for me to read the whole thing, then I'm really sorry :p

Anyway, I think you have a good first chapter so far! I know when I write stories, the first part is often the part I struggle with a lot, but I think you did rather well. Your writing is very easy to read -- the flow and pacing are slow enough so we can get all the details, but at the same time quick enough so it never feels boring or anything. While starting a story at the Hogwarts Express is somewhat common, it makes sense here since we left Albus and the rest of them there at the end of DH. From what little we saw of them in the epilogue, I thought everyone was rather in-character in this chapter, so well done on that! I especially liked Scorpius -- it just seemed so like him to not like his parents and the whole Death Eater thing.

Also, I liked the banter between Albus, Rose and James. It all felt very natural to me and it definitely sounded like they had all grown up together and were close. I especially liked the addition of canon when they mentioned the whole teaching-garden-gnomes-swear-words thing, since it's rare that people let canon actually tie into next gen stories. The grammar and spelling etc. was good in this chapter as well -- there were some misplaced commas here and there, but for the most part it was okay, except that Weasley is spelled wrong when Rose is first introduced and Scorpius hasn't got an 'o' in it. Also, by Professor McMillian do you mean Ernie Macmillan from the books? It's just I love how familiar some things are from canon, although his surname was spelled wrong. The spacing of the chapter at the very end after your A/N by the way is a little wonky, but nothing a quick edit won't fix :)

All in all, this was an enjoyable read, and even the few spelling mistakes didn't throw me off too much, so well done! I didn't think it was boring at all and I'd love to see more from Albus and Scorpius and the rest, especially what houses they'll be in! Thanks for requesting!

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