Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:BookDinosaur says:
Hello again! I'm all caught up now. :) And I'm here with your requested review, in case you didn't know. ;)

I really liked this chapter. Seeing Neville go through his first real test was really interessting. I loved Ron and Hermione's plan to go through the portrait and get the Horcrux. However, I have two small problems - judging the fear and shakiness Neville went through, the test he faced didn't seem that bad to me, so you might want to go back and edit that part. Also, perhaps I missed this in a previous chapter, but why would Voldemort want to hide the locket in the Black mansion?

I really enjoyed the beginning part of this chapter in particular, where you gave the reader an insight as to what kinds of thoughts and fears were filling each team members' head. It was really interesting to see what they were all thinking and I think it developed Neville's character a bit more.

I think Neville's talking to himself was a really nice touch ass well. How he was trying to convince himself that he was brave because he was a Gryffindor and how he could survive the ordela because Voldemort was a Slytherin, he was a Gryffindor and Gryffindors were braver than Slytherins was really endearing.

And as always, everyone referring to Voldermort as Nitwit never fails to amuse me. :P

Overall this was a good chapter, I'm looking forward to reading the next one. Update soon! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I'll see if I can't make the challenge a little more of a challenge. :)

There's a little bit of backstory that hasn't been revealed yet as to why the locket is in the Black mansion. :) I'll see if I can retrofit a few hints.

I definitely want to develop Neville's character during this story.

I laugh every time I write about Nitwit. :)

With the new story line that I've worked up, the remainder of the story should be very interesting. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 389
Submit Report: