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Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
Oh that ending! It's a perfect way to end the first chapter, launching readers into the mystery after just the right amount of introductory material. I can imagine the title sequence starting after that last line, just as it does for all the detective dramas. For me, because I love mysteries like this one, this kind of ending is exciting and dare I say fun?

I've been eyeing this one and "Bad Blood" for a while, and I'm looking forward to getting through them both. It's wonderful to see you writing mysteries! It will be interesting to see how you develop this one.

There are already many intriguing elements to the story above and beyond the presence of a dead body. Your depiction of the next generation is striking with the way that their parents' fame has become a social stigma. This is entirely different from anything I've seen before, but it fits so well, almost better than making the Potter-Weasleys the popular kids. Their parents have so much power - it's not just that Harry could hex anyone who picked on his children, but his influence at the Ministry could potentially put people's jobs on the line. He'd never do anything like that, of course, but rumour and reputation are powerful forces, as JKR herself demonstrates in almost all of the books. I love how you've extended that theme here.

I really like your characterization of James. His narrative voice just sounds right - he's a comfortable narrator, observant and thoughtful. At the same time, it's brilliant to see how his weak eyesight affects his ability to see what's going on around him, and thus also affects his ability to narrate the story. He's limited by his sight, and I wonder whether that will cause him more problems later on. (For instance, I keep asking myself if James missed anything during that period he wasn't wearing his glasses - the answer will depend on who the body turns out to be.) His relationship with his siblings was lovely - very natural, with the usual sort of tensions and teasing involved. It'll be great to see how you write the three Potters!

This review could continue to be a list of "I likes" because, really, I like a lot about this first chapter. Your writing is, as always, incredible. You've found creative and refreshing ways of writing the next generation, and I look forward to seeing how you continue to develop the mystery plot. :D

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